I love horrible, smutty television. I’m that guy. So I’m going to review ‘The Bachelorette’ on a weekly basis. This week, Emily Maynard meets 25 guys in a row, one by one, as they get out of a limo, because that’s how real life works.

There are a few things you should know when you get to England. Just the basics, mind you, but important stuff. Things that will save you time — and even keep you alive. Things like feeding yourself. And riding elevators.

Harlan is fine with having his music categorized as “pop.” But there is a huge difference between manufactured and meticulous; this is where Harlan leaves other pop acts in the three-chord-only, auto-tuned dust. You need to know about this guy.