Hypervocal Menu


The 10 Best Things About Going Home For Thanksgiving

Share on FacebookTweet about this on Twitter

Cooper Fleishman & Greg Seals

By Cooper Fleishman & Greg Seals on November 19, 2012

SNL this weekend absolutely crushed this depiction of exactly what it’s like to go back to your hometown for a stay with mom and dad.

But that’s a gravy-bowl-half-empty perspective on the coming holiday. Here are the 10 best things they missed about going home for Thanksgiving.

1. Family Pets:

Not even your mom can’t greet you with as much unadulterated enthusiasm as your favorite four-legged friend.

2. Unlimited free food:

No more stealing ketchup packets from Wendy’s or scraping by on Ramen and Pop Tarts. A fully stocked pantry! A fridge with name brand food!


Presenting the World’s First Breast Implants for Turkeys
Turkey Call BJ Makes For a Perfect Local News Thanksgiving

3. Laundry:

No scene in recent TV history has been as sadly accurate as the Girls moment when Hannah returns home saddled with a black garbage bag full of unwashed clothes.

4. Ego boost from childhood accomplishments:

After countless soul-crushing weeks at your unpaid internship or minimum wage job at Urban Outfitters, renew your inner confidence by basking in the glory of past awards and accolades, or even participation ribbons.


5. Old Pictures:

Reminisce about how awkward or adorable you used to be (as in the case of our boss, HV editor-in-chief Slade Sohmer).

6. Hang out with old friends:

Hold your own drunken class reunion — and now you don’t have to ask your older brother to buy the beer!


7. Reflection:

Like the infinite abyss scene from Garden State, only way less twee.

8. Masturbating in your childhood bedroom:

Twice as awkward as it used to be if you get caught.


The Real Woody Harrelson Movie About Time-Traveling Turkeys
‘It’s Thanksgiving’: Is It Worse Than Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday?

9. Home-Cooked Meals:

10. Leftovers:

This GIF couldn’t describe things more perfectly.

25 Cats Helping With Your Homework
15 Animals Who Love Shark Week
The 20 Best Teachers on the Internet

Share on FacebookTweet about this on Twitter