Dads. They’re so embarrassing. When they’re not strapping wires to you and exposing your teachers for abusing special-needs kids, they’re filming you. Every day of your life. Newborn babies, you have to put a stop to this from day one. Not even day one: hour one. No, minute 15. Or else they’re just gonna make time-lapse documentaries about your face. Come on, Dad!
This is how you do stop those pesky cameras once and for all:
That’s right! Just throw that finger up and say, “Get that mothafuckin’ camera outta my face!” (Well, think it, because you can’t talk.) Earlier the better. If you’re 15 minutes old, now’s the perfect time. He might think it’s cute and upload it to YouTube anyway, but he’ll know you’re hard as fuck, baby.
You flip off your dad like you don’t even give a damn. You shit yourself and make that fool clean it. You throw your food on the floor and make him pick that shit up. JUST FOR LAUGHS. BECAUSE YOU RUN THIS SHIT.
Now where’s that titty.
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