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The 2012 National Beard & Moustache Championships Presents: Guys You Don’t Want Eating You Out

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By Greg Seals on November 29, 2012

Just in time for the close of No Shave November and the now philanthropic Movember, it’s the 2012 National Beard and Moustache Championships.

The competition took place this month in Las Vegas and featured categories such as: the pedo-stache, the philosophy major, the Portland Bar Tender, the Barnum and Bailey, the Colonel Sanders, the Phish Fan, and of course, best ZZ Top impersonator. These competitors aren’t your rookie college freshmen who gave up hygiene in return for a light dusting of chin dirt. Rather, time-traveling steam punk hipsters extras from the set of Wild Wild West and eternal roadies for the Allman Brothers came together to entwine their flowing facial locks like braids in Avatar.

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In addition to the competition, there were beard-braiding circles, cornrow booths, a human petting zoos for the kids, plus all the free crumbs you can eat, after you shake them out of grandpa’s beard.

Start growing now to get the jump on next year’s competition.

Just remember, if Knocked Up taught us anything, it’s a social sacrifice to sport such a bombastic beard.

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