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Anderson Cooper Has Never Tried Coffee or Spinach?

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By HVmedia on September 28, 2011

Anderson Cooper now has his own daytime talk show, which means the Vanderbilt heir has finally made his way in this difficult world. It wasn’t enough for Cooper to be one of the few respected television newsmen, nope. He needed to go all Oprah on his adoring fans and up his journalism game by trading his days reporting on Haitian earthquakes and active war zones for a daytime talk show.

Good for him, though. He’s earned it. We feel good when Cooper’s on the box. What’s hard to feel good about, however, is this new clip in which Anderson Cooper tries coffee and spinach for the first time.

Gabe at Videogum is appalled: “I love that he takes one sip of coffee and declares ‘I don’t get it.’ Right. You are probably the most thoughtful and interesting thinker of our time. They’re changing the name of the Peabody Awards to the Coopers. The worst part about this whole thing is how dull and fake it is. Like, taking your first sip of coffee ever on your TV show and immediately declaring that you don’t get it and then taking a bite of spinach and making a face and going ‘that’s gross!’ is so pre-planned and rehearsed and has nothing to do with your actual first reaction to a new thing. It’s boring and childish.”

Despite Gabe’s bursting aneuryism, the larger point is this: How does someone make it through this world without ever having tasted coffee?

It’s easy to get people who don’t drink it because they don’t enjoy it and probably make the Anderson Cooper face (not to be confused with the Peyton Manning face) every time they try it. But never having tasted it? When you’re a silver fox in your 40s? Never? It’s not like coffee is this exotic thing in 2011. It’s not like there are people that walk around passing all the Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts and Peet’s and Caribous and Stumptowns and ask themselves, “What is that exotic product? What is this thing called coffee that people keep telling me about?”

Also, spinach is a pretty innocuous leafy green. Of all the leafy greens that exist in this world, spinach is not like kale or arugula or one of the ones people can get away with admitting they’ve never tried it. Is it possible that Anderson Cooper is still munching down on the iceberg lettuce?

This all seems very unbecoming of a Vanderbilt.

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