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Man of Reason Shares Some Calm Thoughts About Soccer

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on July 14, 2011

While the U.S. Women’s National Team has your futbol interest piqued, allow us to slip this soccer-related post by your goalkeeper. And since it’s more about the best fan reaction video on Teh YouTubes than it is about the tactical merits of the 4-2-3-1 versus the 4-3-3, you all should oblige us this one…

River Plate has been one of the most successful soccer clubs in the world over its 110-year history. The Argentinian team, based in Buenos Aires, has won a country-record 33 championships.

But Los Millonarios’ poor form over the past three seasons put them in an unthinkable relegation playoff against Club Atletico Belgrano, meaning if River Plate lost the two-leg match, they’d be playing in the second division next season for the first time in its storied history. Though the comparison isn’t totally apt, it’d roughly be the U.S. equivalent of the New York Yankees selling off their best players for cash and facing a doubleheader in which a loss meant playing in AAA for at least the next year.

And it happened. River Plate lost. They actually got relegated. With one minute left in the match, violence erupted inside the stadium and fans began pelting players and with anything they could throw, prompting referees to stop the match before it ended. Riots erupted inside and outside the Estadio Monumental — turns out South Americans are passionate about their soccer. Who knew?

So clearly fans at the stadium didn’t take the loss too well. But supporters at home didn’t take this loss too kindly either. And thankfully, this man of reason’s family captured his tranquil reactions throughout the match. The original “Reactions of a Pacifist: El ‘Tano’ Pasman” has been seen nearly five million times in whatever difficult-to-decipher brand of Spanish this man speaks in Argentina, but thankfully for English speakers, someone went in and added close approximations of English subtitles for us.

It’s not only must-see stuff, it’s must-spread-virally kind of stuff.

One day I hope to be half as passionate about anything as this man is about River Plate. And, really, can this dude please replace the tired Hitler-in-the-Bunker meme for subtitled videos? Please?

Also, um, is that Uncle Leo?

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