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Eduardo Pérez Likes Michael Pineda’s 10-Inch Uhhhh

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Slade Sohmer


By Slade Sohmer on April 12, 2011


Seattle Mariners right-handed pitcher Michael Pineda made his major-league debut on April 5th, pitching quite well in a loss to the defending AL champion Texas Rangers. The odds-on favorite to win the AL Rookie of the Year Award is a special talent with a bright future in baseball.

The 22-year-old Dominican stands at 6’7, weighs in at 250 pounds. And, according to Baseball Tonight analyst Eduardo Pérez, when he stands on the mound, “you see him with a 10-inch…” [bad, bad pause].

Good save attempt, Steve Berthiaume, though “10-inch mound” doesn’t make much sense either. Hey, at least it’s a word. Any word. Throw any word out there. Save this catastrophic sentence.

Perhaps Pérez’s mind was elsewhere after reading the news that Iceland’s Penis Museum excited the world by announcing it had added a human specimen to its massive johnson collection.

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