Wild Shootout: Man With AK-47 Opens Fire on Police, Officers Kill Him Gilkerson came out of his car guns blazing, firing 37 rounds from an AK-47 at police in Ohio. The two officers fired back 54 rounds. It’s a wild shootout. Read more More
Ohio Police Chief Eats Cake Laced With Pot, Freaks Out, Maaaaan After eating some cake, police chief Mike Berkemeier thought he was dying. A friend of his daughter’s, it appears, laced the cake with cannabis oil. Read more More
Ohio School Shooter T.J. Lane Wears ‘KILLER’ Shirt to Sentencing Teen killer T.J. Lane, who suffers from hallucinations and fantasies, revealed a shirt in court that read “KILLER” and flipped off victims’ families. Read more More
The Onion’s SportsDome Did CNN’s Absurd Rape Apology Coverage First Before even mentioning the victim, CNN spent six minutes wistfully lamenting the convicted Steubenville boys’ lost future. The Onion beat them to this. Read more More
St. Patrick’s Day Brawl: Albany Amateur Hour Douche Edition Amateur Hour came to Albany, as it often does on St. Patrick’s Day. Turn down the volume and check out this douchetastic brawl of drunken college kids. Read more More
Decent Exposure: Portman’s Pro-Gay Reversal Part of Obvious Trend Rob Portman’s new pro-gay stance isn’t about some broad referendum on rights but rather a duty to discuss the issue with the people it affects most. Read more More
Strip Clubs Just Get Classier in 2013: A 15-Foot Fall & Drunk Child Care A strip move gone wrong almost costs a stripper her life, while a Florida dad leaves his kid in the care of a strip club’s liquor store clerk. Read more More