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Heavy Mayo, or The Greatest Thing I’ve Seen in L.A.

“I want so much mayo that I can feel my arteries harden and my heart stop beating while I’m eating it.” In a coffee shop filled with self-important “radical thinkers” typing on their Macs, the proud fat man is the only true rebel.

The One-Minute Recap of the O.J./Oprah Saga

Wait, what’s that about Stedman wearing a gimp suit? Our friends at One Minute News recap the wild rumors and speculation surrounding whether Oprah will get a jail-cell confession from O.J. Simpson.