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Given Mitt Romney’s pale skin, wooden demeanor and irrepressible spiciness — the equivalent of a chilled globule of ranch dressing served on a Nilla wafer — we know what you’re assuming: that he’s Mexican, right?
Mitt’s father, George Romney, the man who would go on to become the governor of Michigan, was born at the polygamous Romney family compound in Chihuahua, in northern Mexico. (Great-grandfather Miles fled there with four wives in 1882 when the United States outlawed polygamy and Miles wanted to record some ranchera songs about it.)
Mitt wears his true colors on Twitter, where he self-identifies as being part of the “Juan percent.” To you, we say buena suerte in Arizona, hombre.
SUITABLE FOR: El uno por ciento
NOT SUITABLE FOR: El noventa y nueve por ciento
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(photo via Gage Skidmore)