Tomorrow Americans go to the polls to decide the fate of our country for the next four years. Vote for whomever the f**k you want, of course, but just remember that only one of the candidates cracks open brews with a Medal of Honor recipient and enjoys a hearty pint of Guinness on St. Patrick’s Day. The other is as dry as a Utah desert.
Whether you’re celebrating or commiserating, the election results are an event you’ll want to be drunk for. Grab some friends and a case of White House Honey Ale and hold a beer summit of your own. Because like democracy, drinking games require a group, otherwise it’s just alcoholism.
An important reminder: don’t start drinking till after after you’ve performed your civic duty. Turn down party guests without an I VOTED sticker.
Though the game might look complicated, it actually breaks down pretty smoothly. If you simply follow the matrix at top, you’re guaranteed to be wasted before they call states on the West Coast.
Start by picking a winner for each state using the color-coordinated charts below.
Then simply sit back, relax and wait for the results to pour in as freely as the booze.
As each state is announced, use the matrix to calculate your points — and start pounding ’em back.
1 point = Make someone drink
10 points = Make someone take a shot
20 points = Shotgun a beer
You may accumulate points if you wish, and deal them out as you wish and when you wish — but if you go below zero, you gotta drink until you’re back in the positive!