It’s official: Not all conservatives have gone fucking crazy, but the ones who want to speak loudest on behalf of their ideology certainly have.
This is not a partisan statement. As in, you don’t need to be a Democrat or a liberal to see it. It’s a simple observation, like how Ovaltine should be called Roundtine (that’s gold, Jerry). Barack Obama’s presidency has without question driven otherwise sane people mad for four years, but the prospect of another four years has kicked that madness into overdrive this past week.
The outrage over Obama’s use of the harmless word “bullshitter” in a Rolling Stone piece, the frothy hate for Lena Dunham‘s “First Time” re-election ad, the accusations of reverse racism in Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama — these are just the latest examples of how conservatives have completely lost their grip on whatever sanity they once held dear.
First, check out Dunham’s Obama For America ad, which compares voting for President Obama to losing her virginity:[springboard type="youtube" id="o6G3nwhPuR4" player="hypr001" width="550" height="310" ]
Clever? Maybe. Not clever? Maybe. Like most attempts at hyperbolic comedy, it will either resonate or it won’t. Hit or miss. But to conservatives, this ad amounted to a crime against humanity. It’s been called the “height of vulgarity,” “disgusting,” and “a new low.” Did we watch the same ad? Are you sure it’s not simply an edgy ad that misses the mark?
You really want to see an ad that’s disgusting? Check out the anti-intellectual Idiocracy-come-to-life nightmare playing in South Dakota on behalf of Rep. Kristi Noem, a 160-second web ad that attacks Democratic candidate Matt Varilek for having the temerity to earn two postgraduate degrees, live overseas and care about the future of the planet while his opponent was back home receiving an award from the South Dakota Soybean Association.[springboard type="youtube" id="I0OomdFloKI" player="hypr001" width="550" height="310" ]
Dunham’s a harmless play. This ad, frighteningly dumb in every way, is an affront to everything this country holds dear: education, knowledge, life experience, working hard, building a sustainable future.
But, wait, there’s more: Dunham’s ad for Obama isn’t just a vile play, it’s also ripped from Vladimir Putin’s catalog, and therefore indicative of Obama’s plan to fundamentally transform America into Russia, which as we all know is our greatest geopolitical foe. ZOMG, freak out.
Here’s the amazingly hypocritical part of this whole affair: Breitbart.com, which according to traffic stats is now the #1 “news” site for conservatives, went faux-outrage apeshit over this Dunham ad. Editor-at-large Ben Shapiro, whose shoddy tenure at the helm of Breitbart’s empire would sadden his old boss greatly if he were still alive, called it an “astoundingly tasteless ad.”
You want astounding tasteless. THIS is astoundingly tasteless:
Colin Powell was an affirmative action general. No surprise he's supporting an affirmative action president.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) October 25, 2012
Let me be clearer. Colin Powell supports Barack Obama because Barack Obama is black. Powell didn't support Clinton, Gore, or Kerry.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) October 25, 2012
Yes, the same guy who is apoplectic over a 30-second ad was out there calling a four-star general, the former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and a Secretary of State under a Republican president a full-on racist for saying what most people know to be true, that under Mitt Romney, you really won’t know who will show up on Day One of his presidency.
Romney surrogate John Sununu’s race accusation would make the perfect capper to this story, but it’s not clear he was ever sane.
UPDATE: As TPM notes, via the Washington Post account, Ronald Reagan made a “first time” voting joke back in 1980:
What Reagan was trying to do in Illinois, Michigan and Ohio was to harvest usually Democratic blue-collar votes — the consistent target of his personal campaigning in the Great Lakes states. Whenever he is near voters who might possibly be Democrats, Reagan likes to remind them that he came from that side of the political tracks.
On Thursday night, at a working class bar in Bayonne, N.J., Reagan said, “I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”
Alright, conservatives, go pick on Zombie Reagan.