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2012’s 20 Best Moments in Sport, Captioned by Mitt Romney

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My love of sport is well-documented. So when I was approached to caption the best 20 photos from the world of athletics this year, I put down the pump and said, “Heck, I’ve got nothing better to do!” Clear eyes, full hearts!

“Medal. Gold. Good.”

(AP Photo/Gregory Bull)

“My sons perform this same routine at the opening ceremony of the Romney Olympics!”

(AP Photo/Ermino Armino)

“Hey, what’s Spanish One-Eyed John Turturro doing with Ann’s temple garments?”

(AP Photo/Daniel Ochoa de Olza)

“Ha ha ha! Terrific!”

(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

“Man is the most dangerous game.”

(AP Photo/Mikhail Metzel)

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“Election Night 2012, amirite?”

(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

“Ha ha ha, that’s a pretty unique way to block someone’s path to the basket!”

(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

“Tiger knows binders full of women.”

(AP Photo/Eric Risberg)

“Neither of us have won anything since 2004.”

(AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

“Clearly these people didn’t vote for me. What?! Because they’re not American. You’re the racist.”

(AP Photo/Schalk van Zuydam)

“Tagg’s not interested — which one of you beasts wants to stud my Rafalca?”

(AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

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“This might just be my favorite photograph from this summer’s The Hunger Games.”

(AP Photo/Daniel Ochoa De Olza)

“This is why we never give the boys juice.”

(AP Photo/Martin Meissner)

“Ann loves when I joke around and say ‘It’s funny ’cause his name is Bolt!’”

(AP Photo/Anja Niedringhaus)

“Tall Paul Ryan doing Gagnam Dance? Funny!”

(AP Photo/Andy Wong)

“ObamaCare metaphor!”

(AP Photo/Vincent Thian)

“I can’t believe the savings at Costco either.”

(AP Photo/Anja Niedringhaus)

“If he lands on the roof … ah, dang it, now even I’m making dumb Seamus jokes.”

(AP Photo/Mike Groll)

“Betcha 10,000 bucks this guy drowns. Yeah, it’s morbid — you people did this to me.”

(AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

“See, just look how successful outsourcing can be.”

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)

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