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Gay Heaven: Yelp Trolls Flood Bigot Restaurateur With Hilarious Reviews

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer
February 11, 2014 at 11:59 am



“I’ve been in business 44 years, I think I can spot a freak or a f•gg•t.”

Gary James, owner of Gary’s Chicaros, isn’t what you might call politically correct. “I really don’t want gays around,” the proprietor in Enid, Oklahoma, told KFOR. “Any man that would compromise his own body would compromise anything.” You wouldn’t want that at your shitty eatery, right?

How offensive is Gary’s? The official store T-shirt brags about it being a “F•gg•t-Free Zone,” and if that weren’t enough, “it has the N-word on the front and threatens violence against Muslims, minorities and democrats.” Classy.

via KFOR

via KFOR

Gary’s story has caromed about the Internet for a few days now, and before we get to the Trolls Have Their Day part, watch the man explain himself, if you can stomach this kind of dickishness for more than five seconds:

So now you might be saying, “Fine, just don’t eat at this assbag’s trough and let him go to hell on his own time.” Which is fine. But instead of getting all worked up, trolls have done the next best thing, which is brutalize his Yelp and Facebook pages. And while it’s likely that Gary’s customers aren’t exactly the Yelp-checking type, this is a terrific episode of public shaming and a near-perfect way to highlight the almost comical views of a bigot restaurateur.

Here are some of our favorites, with the best saved for last:

I’m a little concerned about the size of the glory holes in the men’s room. Most black men can’t fit. Will you please fix this?

The Good:
- Drag Queen Tuesdays
- The “steak” “sandwich”
- Bottle service for the slings
- Owner Gary James in a harness and chaps

The Bad:
- Depends Undergarments Thursdays
- The “Lebanese” “tabbouleh”
- Food service for the glory holes
- Owner Gary James in a harness and chaps

I was so sad they were all out of Rump Roast when I went in. Thank goodness Garry found some sausage for me instead. This place needs a little more fairy dust though.

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If you enjoy a long hunk of man meat with your well done cow meat, the Chicaro Club is the place for you. Gary has truly outdone himself with the flamboyant, free atmosphere in his place. If you’re a strapping young lad in search of your next sugar daddy, Gary is the man for you. Grab those ankles, bite those manly lips and get ready for the pounding of your life. Don’t forget to order dessert! They all come with a blumpkin free of charge.

When friends told me that Gary’s Chicaro Club was the hottest spot in the US for Grade A midwestern man beef I did my best Hunter S., I bought the ticket and took the ride.
After a long flight and a dirty cab we arrived at Chicaros to a Cirque Du Soleil like atmosphere. I haven’t seen this much glitter and leather in one place since my days in the Tenderloin.
Wall to wall beef in this shabby chic shake shack. Bumping and grinding to the full time DJ (DJ Oprah Spinfree, A fabulous black drag queen).

The menu is flush with Hot Italian Sausage, Stuffed Peppers, Creamed Chipped Beef, Bangers and Mash.
They also offer fish tacos on the lesbian specials menu.

Best gay bar north of Oklahoma City! Be sure and wear your arseless chaps on Thursday nights for 1/2 off Jell-O shots!

The restrooms are a little dirty. I can’t figure out why there are holes between the stalls at crotch level. What’s up with that???

THIS PLACE IS GOP GAY HEAVEN!!!!!!
Don’t let the negative PR fool you on this place (AWESOME, SAVVY marketing campaign that makes you THINK it is not gay friendly…BOY, was I WRONG). The second you walk into the door (greeted by a hot muscle boy wearing a “Don’t Tread On Me” jock strap-can you guess where the snake was positioned?), you feel the manly vibe of sweat, AXE cologne and booze. And the music…Lady Ga Ga? Check. Katy Perry? Check. Madonna? Check. Ted Nugent? CHECK CHECK CHECK (and bang bang bang!) All of the bases are covered. The Duck Dynasty Go Go Boys are just simply adorable and I loved the little touches (the Ted “Cruz”-ing room is a hotbed of conservative oppression that I found absolutely forbidden yet erotic at the same time), the quirky Chick Fil A/ Papa Johns menu items, the beefcake photos of Paul Ryan and Rick Santorum in the bathrooms and the “just because I like guys on the side doesn’t make me queer” vibe.
And the owner??? All I can say is that he is “hands on” with all aspects of this establishment…although I would rethink the dated pink ascot and leisure suit…it is not 1977 anymore and is totally out of sync with the “macho” Tea Bagger vibe you have so successfully created…My advice for any closet case? STAND YOUR GROUND and check out Chicaro Club!!!!

These reviews are completely unfair. Gary James is not a bigot. He just believes, like many True Americans, that Untrue Americans like Jews and Gays should have their own special places to live, sort of like “camps.” The Jews, Gays, and other deviants would be “concentrated” in these camps, where they could do all the work we can’t convince the Negro slaves to do.

Also, the food is great. The Steak-ums with American Cheese is the best — also try the Cocoa Puffs and milk for breakfast, it’s their best recipe.

Also, the Yelp photos page is pretty damn gay:

garys

So go to Gary’s, if you’re into that sort of freak and f•gg•t stuff.

[via Mediaite]
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