Sometimes the Nomenclature Gods have fun with mere mortals.
Not since Dr. Unk got a DUI, a reporter named Seaman wrote up a sperm count warning, a sports columnist named Gay sounded off on Jason Collins’ signing, or a producer named Stump recapped the tale of a teenager who lost part of an arm, has a surname been so perfect for a story.
Police say a Utah woman named Crispi “is accused of trying to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s home with a pound of bacon left burning on a gas stove,” according to KSL. Hey, ex-beau, ya burnt, Crispi-style.
Revenge, it seems, is a dish best served cold, with a side of bacon.
KSL has more on the story of Cameo Adawn Crispi’s crime of passion:
Crispi’s ex-boyfriend called Naples police March 14 to report that he’d received “multiple phone calls and texts” from her in an hour and wanted it to stop, according to charging documents. He also said he did not want her at his home.
An officer went to the home. He said Crispi was obviously impaired and there was smoke coming out the front door.
“I asked to come in and observed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove,” the officer wrote, noting that he also found a cookie sheet loaded with a pound of bacon sitting on top of the kitchen stove.
“I observed the burner to be on the setting ‘High’ and the bacon to be severely burned and smoking badly,” the officer wrote.
The officer stopped the spread of the fire and arrested Crispi, who had a blood-alcohol content of 0.346, the charges state. Due to her impaired state, she was taken to the hospital for a medical clearance before being booked into jail.
Crispi, who police say admitted to the attempted arson, is “also charged with burglary, assault by a prisoner, interfering with an arresting officer, electronic communication harassment and intoxication,” KSL reports.
They’ll see her in court on April 14. Word up, Cameo.