When we caught wind of Shreddies flatulence-filtering underwear, we wondered what the stink was about. (Pun count: two.) How could a lowly pair of underpants tame the embarrassing odor after letting one rip?
For the uneducated, Shreddies are built with a layer of the superhero-sounding material Zorflex, an activated carbon cloth intended to tame the smell of your farts. Science!
One brave tech reporter at the Toronto Star and his equally brave wife decided to test out the world’s least sexy lingerie. The two were just fartin’ around under the sheets, creating a “Dutch oven” of sorts.
The results were a GAS!
I wore Shreddies for three days around town and they seemed to work pretty well, although I wasn’t particularly gassy. Sure, I let a couple fly — including one attempt on an elevator at work, which has mirrored walls, so I watched all the faces for familiar signs of putrid smell recognition, but no joy. Still, I needed to enlist another set of nostrils.
Back under the sheets in the Dutch oven, I let loose a few. One loud one and a couple of quieter follow-ups. Speaking scientifically, the problem with fart testing is that each one is a random occurrence, so you never know exactly what their stink level is going to be. There is no control group to compare it with.
Is your breath bated? Can you hardly wait to find out what happened next?
My wife inhales a big whiff and says: “I don’t smell anything.”
Success! The Shreddies seem to do what they say.
That is certainly not the most disgusting set of words to ever grace the internet but my gag reflex sure did a-flutter.
The only thing that would’ve made this story more ridiculous is if Mayor Rob Ford dropped by to get in on the fun. There’s still time!