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Ho or Hoax? Video of Justin Bieber Sleeping With Alleged Prostitute Emerges

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Slade Sohmer


By Slade Sohmer on November 7, 2013


Sorry if you clicked this for actual action of Biebs in Bed: This nonconsensual 15-second footage of Justin Bieber is more ZZZ than XXX.

The internet’s freaking out about a clip of The Biebs in bed. Sleeping. For 15 seconds. Doing nothing. With no other context, except when the camera phone pans to a Brazilian beauty, who may or may not be a prostitute.

Forget STDs, hopefully Bieber doesn’t catch Vertical Video Syndrome.

Yeah, there are clicks and pageviews to be had here. But nobody, from the cryingest fangirl to the thinkpieciest thinkpiecer should take this too seriously. We don’t know who this woman is (yet), and even if she is an escort, so be it. Consenting adults can do what they like. It’s weak sauce on her part to post such a video, however benign.

Can we just let this guy bang hot girls in peace without forcing him to turn into a blanket ghost? What a silly world.

SEE ALSO:
Zach Galifianakis Whips Justin Bieber With a Belt
Justin Bieber Fan: Less Penne, More Peen

And here are some super-blurry screenshots, in case this video should fall down an elevator shaft:

bieber hooker

bieber

Okay, let’s get back to what matters, like Bieber’s dong size.

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