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Good Vibrations: Company Offers Free Sex Toys to Furloughed Employees

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on October 7, 2013

“This promotion is going really well. I guess that giving away free vibrators makes you quite popular.” –Vibrators.com’s latest update

When Winston Churchill said “Never let a good crisis go to waste,” he probably didn’t have free sex toys in mind. Tom Nardone, however, is taking full advantage of the federal government shutdown to get some free publicity and help furloughed employees stay … active.

The Detroit-based PriveCo founder says his company will ship about 200 free vibrators every day to workers deemed non-essential.

free vibrators

“We feel bad for the federal employees affected by the shutdown,” a Vibrators.com spokesperson told AVN. “There is a lot of satisfaction in doing good work, without work to be done, that sense of accomplishment is lost. That must be stressful. We were discussing that our products relieve stress and create satisfaction. We decided to do a giveaway to help out.”

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There’s no real verification process on the website, but don’t be a jerk. Let the vibrators get into the right hands. As for the product itself, here’s what excitable furloughed employees can expect, and who they can thank:

It is 5 inches long and 1 inch in diameter, a smaller vibe. It is emblazoned with the Vibrators.com logo on one side, so that you will forever remember our generosity.

Nardone updated his site on Sunday night:

“This promotion is going really well. I guess that giving away free vibrators makes you quite popular. As of Sunday night we have hit our quota for the evening. We will be allocating 200 more free vibes on Monday sometime around noon EST. Other Note: To the person from Staten Island, NY who has tried to order 6 free vibrators, please go away. We don’t give vibrators to greedy people. Besides, what were you going to do with 6 identical vibrators? Don’t answer that question. Thanks for reading, and for visiting Vibrators.com – The Easiest, Most Private Way to Buy The Perfect Vibrator.

Are you a furloughed worker in Staten Island who wants six vibrators? The AP would like to talk to you for an article.

Be advised, though: “When the shutdown ends, so does the free vibe offer.”

[via MLive]
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