When Pope Benedict XVI unexpectedly resigned, making him the first man to abdicate his papal responsibility in nearly 600 years, the world began to speculate about which vessel of God would take his place.
Despite reports that his old Milwaukee church under his leadership paid “individual sums of $20,000 to priests accused of molesting children” to quietly leave the priesthood, many people are wondering whether the next pope will be American. Namely, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York and head of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.
Does Dolan think he has a shot? Only if you’re totally baked, brah.
The New York Post has the obvious winner for Quote of the Day, along with the Headline of the Day: “Pope hope is dope.”
At St. Patrick’s Cathedral yesterday, Dolan was asked about rumors that he would be named the first American pope when the College of Cardinals convenes next month to select Pope Benedict’s successor.
“I’d say those are only from people smoking marijuana,” Dolan said.
It’s not known whether Dolan is currently baking a batch of pot brownies to bring to the papal conclave where the next pope will be chosen.