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Sen. Ted Cruz Reads ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ During Fauxlibuster, Totally Misses Point

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on September 24, 2013

Ted Cruz, the junior senator from Texas, is filibustering. Except he’s not.

Here’s a super-quick, one-liner explainer: Cruz is fauxlibustering on the Senate floor to prevent language that would defund ObamaCare from being stripped from a bill that needs to pass in order to fund the government. He knows it will fail. He’s a mailing-list, fundraising martyr.

Several hours into these shenanigans, Cruz read his kids a bedtime story. He picked Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham.” Perhaps Senator Cruz really doesn’t know the moral of this story. Either way, it’s a terrific reading.

Sam I Am tries this thing that he hates and he finds out he likes it. WHOA.

Sen. Cruz did clarify his point after his terrific reading. Americans “did not like green eggs and ham, and they did not like ObamaCare either,” Cruz said after. “They did not like ObamaCare in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse.” Americans have tried it and they don’t like it, he swerved. But in this analogy, Sam I Am would stop the chef about halfway through the meal preparation, having kvetched the whole time, then complain about being hungry but have no suggestions on what to eat and how to cook it.

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Sen. Cruz also read some tweets. One of them, quoting Sweet Brown, had Cruz saying “ObamaCare: Ain’t nobody got time for that” on the Senate floor. But SWEET GOT BRONCHITIS! She would have needed ObamaCare!

The three other very, very obvious points here:

1. Say what you will about Wendy Davis’ motives, performance and success or failure, but remember that she was given a strike by the Texas Senate for discussing sonograms and Planned Parenthood, which were ruled NOT GERMANE to the abortion bill being voted on. Same drill for Sen. Rand Paul, who used most of his time to actually discuss drone and security policy. Sen. Cruz talked about Hitler, The Bible, White Castle, Ashton Kutcher, ostrich boots, and eventually Dr. Seuss. If you’re going to stand up there, can we at least hear an alternative plan or policy?

2. Cruz wants to #MakeDCListen. He said repeatedly that ObamaCare is thwarting the will of the people. Except it’s not at all. According to CNBC, “Opposition to defunding increases sharply when the issue of shutting down the government and defaulting is included. In that case, Americans oppose defunding 59 percent to 19 percent, with 18 percent of respondents unsure.” FIFTY-NINE PERCENT TO NINETEEN PERCENT.

3. Most importantly: Cruz does not have to stall! It’s not a real filibuster! The Senate WILL vote on Wednesday! Even C-SPAN threw shade at him!

via @fshakir

via @fshakir

Eh, whatever, at least his daughters really liked his bedtime story. This tweet via Cruz’s campaign chief strategist, Jason Johnson.

via @jasonsjohnson

via @jasonsjohnson

Listen for more on “Politics Powered By Twitter” with @SladeHV and @LeeBrenner at 2-3 ET on SiriusXM 124 on Wednesday.

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