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Cinnabon Vodka Is the Season’s Most Vomit-Inducing New Product

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Marisa Kabas

By Marisa Kabas on November 21, 2013

Hey, you, feel like puking?

Check out this description of Pinnacle Vodka’s new Cinnabon-flavored product: “[It’s] described as combining the ‘decadent flavors of cinnamon, brown sugar and rich cream cheese frosting with hints of caramel.'”

Heave, ho. This just sounds absolutely epically disgusting. Pinnacle is best known for its whipped cream and birthday cake flavors, so this horrifying addition to its line of gag reflex-triggering vodka is certainly a natural extension. But someone needs to draw a line in the frosting.

It’s actually being marketed toward women. Let’s just call a spade a spade and say it’s meant for the woman with PMS and a drinking problem.

“Women have played a significant role in the market share gains of spirits and wine from beer,” Robert Ottenstein, an alcohol-industry analyst for International Strategy and Investment Group, said in a recent report. He cited a Gallup statistic showing that in 2013 about 65% of women consume alcohol, up from 58% in 2004. “As more women drink, advertisers focus more on women, and social stigmas continue to decline in a self-reinforcing loop,” he added.

It’s also a really weird call by Beam Inc., owners of Pinnacle, because Cinnabon is associated with dirty malls, sticky children and eating three day’s worth of calories in one drippy bun — most definitely NOT parties, and or anything other than sitting alone in your car with your hand in the bag listening to Fiona Apple and softly weeping.

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Girls across America will surely be receiving this as a kitschy 21st birthday gift from their out-of-touch moms who suggest they make a “fun cocktail” with it, when in reality they’ll just rip shots of it with their drunk friends who will literally drink anything.

It seems Cinnabon isn’t content just sitting in its little stalls and frosting them buns. Last week they announced a partnership with Taco Bell where you can now purchase “Cinnabon Delights” — bite-size donut desserts filled with Cinnabon frosting and coated with cinnamon sugar — to pair perfectly with that chalupa. There’s also a Cinnabon Cheesecake at T.G.I. Friday’s.

Be out on the lookout for Pinnacle Cinnabon Vodka in select cities December 1 and all over this great nation on January 1.

Be sure to have a friend nearby to hold your hair back!

[via Ad Age]
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