Not a dry eye on the [menopause section of the] couch. Touching. Handsome man forges non-zoophiliac relationship with adorable little beast, which grows up and never forgets the people that got him there. Landslide! Flowing, twirling Stevie Nicks! It’s a nearly perfect 73-second Super Bowl ad.
Until the very last three seconds …
Not to get too getoffmylawny, but can we call a moratorium on forced crowdsourced hogcock that ruins the sentiment of everything it touches? Can’t we simply let something play out without corporate-backed hashtag contests and the trite contributions from micromanaging social media hacks?
(Or is this part of some Masonic scheme to keep Darren Rovell busy?)
Go ahead, Anheuser-Busch, just freakin’ name the horse without us. Schmaltzy humorless Twitterers are gonna be like, “ZOMG NAME IT ‘BUDDY!’ U GET IT?” Wannabe trolls are gonna troll. This is life.
An early look at our #Clydesdales commercial has inspired some new foal names: Chicago, Spunky Brewster, Homie, Tribute, Memory & Boomerang.
— Budweiser (@Budweiser) February 1, 2013
I don’t know about you, but those names make me want more Budweiser.
Ultimately, whatever legit emotion the ad generates is undone by the shameless crowdsourcing that accomplishes nothing. Is it going to sell more beer? No. That’s the purpose of the ad itself. All this does is try to make people feel involved, but its off-putting in its immodest intrusion. It’s tacky. It’s cheap. It’s unnatural. It’s everywhere. And it needs to stop.
Now let’s all get Budweiser to name this horse Horsename. Do it.