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Baby Killer Whale Born at SeaWorld San Diego on Valentine’s Day

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on February 14, 2013

While some derpy Swedish furniture peddlers are misunderstanding the gestation process as part of their free crib promotion for babies born *exactly* nine months from today (see below), SeaWorld San Diego doesn’t have to wait to welcome a newborn killer whale calf just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Today, “San Diego” translates to a “Killer Whale’s Vagina.”

New Killer Whale
AP Photo/SeaWorld San Diego, Mike Aguilera

AP caption: “Kasatka, a killer whale who is approximately 37 years old, gave birth to the calf Thursday under the watchful eyes of SeaWorld’s zoological team. The calf is estimated to weigh between 300 and 350 pounds and measure 6 to 7 feet. The gender of the calf is not yet known.”

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Killer Whale Returns to Work, Enjoys Being Aroused by Cow’s Vagina

As for IKEA, this free crib promotion for parts of Australia makes no sense whatsoever. Seeing as most babies aren’t born nine months to the day of conception, let alone omitting women who aren’t currently ovulating and unintentionally shaming couples who can’t conceive every single goddamn time they try, this promotion seems more about the good fortune of those babies born on November 14 rather than those couples trying on February 14.

ikea valentine's
@nickbegley via @tim_herrera

IKEA: Australian for “Wait, what?”

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