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Top Santorum Donor Suggests You Sluts Should Just Keep Your Damn Legs Closed

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The top donor to Rick Santorum’s SuperPAC appeared on MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell Reports on Thursday and weighed in on the ongoing male-dominated culture war debate on contraception.

Foster Friess seemed to suggest to Mitchell that the best birth form of control is for those damn sex perverts known as ‘women’ to simply keep their legs closed.

“Well, I get such a chuckle when these things come up,” Friess told Mitchell. “On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.” Watch this ridiculousness:

Andrea Mitchell’s reaction to Friess’ bizarre statement might be the best part of that clip.

If you’re confused by what Friess meant by that, you’re probably not alone. But since Aspirin isn’t a form of birth control, it would seem he’s suggesting women just hold their legs together at all times.

If Rick Santorum was seen as a candidate out of touch with the modern realities of his era, Friess’ quote on MSNBC on Thursday certainly did some damage. The Santorum campaign must be loving his cash donations, hating his mouth right about now. They’re going to have to work quick to clean this up.

Friess later sought forgiveness on his website: “Last week my joke at the Conservative Political Action Conference generated laughter and media attention. Today on Andrea Mitchell’s show, my aspirin joke bombed as many didn’t recognize it as a joke but thought it was my prescription for today’s birth control practices. In fact, the only positive comments I got were from folks who remembered it from 50 years back. Birth control pills weren’t yet available, so everyone laughed at the silliness on how an aspirin could become a birth control pill. After listening to the segment tonight, I can understand how I confused people with the way I worded the joke and their taking offense is very understandable. To all those who took my joke as modern day approach I deeply apologize and seek your forgiveness. My wife constantly tells me I need new material—she understood the joke but didn’t like it anyway—so I will keep that old one in the past where it belongs.”

Naturally, Twitter blew up after Friess’ comments aired (#backinmyday is already a pretty hilarious meme). But Ana Navarro, national co-chair of John McCain’s Hispanic Advisory Council in 2008 and National Hispanic Co-Chairperson of the Huntsman campaign this time around, wins the prize:

In other contraception news, House Oversight Committee Chairman Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) held a hearing on the Obama administration’s new rule requiring employers to provide birth control for female employees. As you might expect, WOMEN WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TESTIFY. Say whaaa?

The panel of “experts” looked like this. Perfect:

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