Lucky for fans the Miami Heat didn’t blow the 2012 NBA Finals against the Oklahoma City Thunder — because now their fans can get blown. Seriously. More than just an urban myth, the BJ offer is actually not BS. All thanks to the VERY generous Twitter pledge by porn stars Angelina Castro and Sara Jay, who will film the event and sell it online and on DVD. If enough people sign up, they say, it could even be a world record.
Last month, the two Floridians made the questionable online promise that they’d fellate their followers if the Heat won the title. In what could be the most epic CSI: Miami plot of all time (cue the Who and Horatio’s sunglasses), these ladies will actually put their money where their mouth is, so to speak. Here are all the rules on how to collect your pro bono BJ.
Date: August 2, 2012 — in Miami (Location To Be Announced)
If any member of the Heat or the coaching staff shows up, they are next in line (as long as they are followers!)
Whoever is a follower who shows up in either a ‘I Love Sara Jay’ or ‘Once You Go Hispanic Don’t Panic’ or Sara Jay’s Juicy ‘T.I.T.S’ Tshirt is next in line
Anyone who shows up in a TeamBJNBA Tshirt is next in line
Anyone who shows up in a Miami Heat Official Tshirt or Jersey is next in line
The next order is based on submission of complete paperwork and releases
ANYONE GETTING A BJ MUST CONSENT TO THE EVENT BEING FILMED, STREAMED LIVE and/or SOLD ON A DVD or WEBSITE in the future – NO EXCEPTIONS – Release to be posted here soon
You CAN wear a mask to cover your face to collect your BJ but ONLY if your identity is confirmed beforehand.
YOU MUST HAVE A CONFIRMED TEST FROM TALENT TESTING (at your expense) completed and emailed with a copy of your ID no later than 48 hours before the follower blow off. Information on how to test posted soon.
No admission to the event just to watch.
No filming or picture taking of any kind.
All paperwork (release and test) must be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org no later than 48 hours before the event.
We reserve the right to refuse entry for ANY reason, including but not limited to hygene, rude behavior, intoxication or otherwise.
A registered MALE nurse will be on the premises to inspect for hygene [sic].
You FULLY and COMPLETELY will release Sara Jay & Angelina Castro from any claims of any kind arising out of your participation.
*** This is a ONE TIME event. Collect on August 2 in Miami, or don’t collect at all ***
***We reserve the right to change the date, rules & location as needed ***
*** For those that cannot come to the event, it will be streamed live, details to follow how to watch ***
Here are five types of guys I predict will show up to this epic all-you-can-eat pickle contest:
His name is Rick, but you probably know him better as Ricky Vegas. Yeah, the same Ricky Vegas that had Pitbull performed at his 34th birthday. He’s a self proclaimed mogul and just recently launched his own vodka infused energy drink, Skull Crusher TM, that’s being served at all the hottest clubs on South Beach. You’ll never miss this guy on the dance floor peacocking in the latest Armani shades and David Yurman dog tags.
Vinny has not only seen, but owns all of the Fast and Furious films on blu-ray. Vin Diesel is his idol, and when he’s not getting totally jacked at the gym or shaving his chest, he’s working at the Tampa Mall’s GNC “pimping out Creatine like it’s my job”, because it is. He never leaves the house in anything but the latest Tap-Out gear, and you’ll never catch this guy riding dirty in his 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse with chrome exhaust.
Blink twice and you’ll miss him, because Colton is the fastest thing on two wheels. His nickname is “The crotch rocket” not only for his hot Kawaski collection, but for his way with the ladies too. Though he runs a chop shop, he still finds time to keep active on Xbox Live and pwn anyone who tries to touch his score in Need for Speed. He’s auditioned for not one, but four seasons of America’s Best Dance Crew.
The only thing more extensive than Cruse’s neck tattoos are his misdemeanor and animal cruelty charges, but those were just minor mix ups. He may have lost custody of his two kids, but he still has his 42 inch plasma screen and his Scarface posters. Things are finally looking up for him though, he’s finally off probation and has secured a new job at Subway.
His name is Gary, and he’s one of Amazon’s most valued customers. He subscribes to his favorite adult entertainer’s wish lists and checks them daily. He’s a copier salesman, and hasn’t had a girlfriend in two years, but that doesn’t keep him from showering his favorite ladies with all their heart’s desires. He’s a three time attendee of the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo and has had four separate restraining orders taken out against him.
Ladies, I have only one thing to say: Good effort, good (blow) job! Now that’s what I call sportsmanship.[BSO]