Join the Club: Cincinnati’s Flamingo Air Encourages Mid-Flight Screwing
“Ma’am, can I get you anything? Peanuts, tomato juice, lube?”
Cincinnati-based airline Flamingo Air is offering a very special package to horny travelers: the ability to have discreet in-flight sex without getting kicked out of the bathroom by angry flight attendants.
For $425, passengers get champagne, chocolate and a “very discreet pilot” on the 60-minute flight, according to the company’s website. They also get VIP access to a super-sexy private room that looks like your grandmother’s couch and likely smells even worse.
Of course — of course! — the awesome Taiwanese animators at NMA got their hands on the story. Their video actually makes it look more tempting than the real deal. See below:
“I have had a high heel in my ear once, been shot in the back of the head with a champagne cork, and thank God we wear headsets,” pilot Dave MacDonald told WCPO-TV.
I guess when you’ve got the market cornered on sex flights, you can afford to be as sleazy as you want. Your branding is all wrong, Flamingo Air! You don’t just go out and say “please bone on this flight,” you simply call it “private” and “romantic” and install black pleather seats, not fabric ones!
Besides, paying to join the Mile-High Club is just straight-up cheating. It takes all the fun out of sneaking away, locking you and your partner in a disinfectant-soaked poop unit and contorting yourself into somewhat workable positions for labored, likely aborted penetration. Only when you have suffered through that are you worthy of your Mile-High Club medal of honor. ONLY THEN.
Because that captain looks like he isn’t recording everything for personal use later!
PREVIOUSLY IN NMA:
• Gun-Toting Facebook Dad Tommy Jordan, According to Taiwanese Animators
• The Super Bowl According to Taiwanese Animators
MOST RECENT BY Cooper Fleishman:
- Leslie
- Gary
