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Couple Faces $4,000 Fine for High-Decibel Sex

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By HVnews on August 27, 2012

After receiving repeated complaints about Colin MacKenzie and Jessica Angel’s full-throttle bed-thumping, Adelaide, Australia, police finally decided to intervene, charging the lovers with disturbing the peace and hindering an environmental protection officer.

MacKenzie and Angel now face a $4,000 fine.

“We exceeded the noise pollution to the point we were arrested and taken out of our own house and told we couldn’t have sex,” Ms. Angel told Adelaide Now. Indeed, the environment protection order they were issued Sunday night demands the two cease “emanating any and all environmental nuisance” including “screaming, loud moaning, swearing and raised voices.”

Despite this, Angel and MacKenzie were issued an additional fine Tuesday morning.

Police say they don’t mean to be killjoys. “People have a right to privacy within their own home, but when their actions impact others police need to step in before a situation escalates.”

The two are incredulous. They have no plans to stop the high-decibel boinkery.

Ms Angel said police told them Sunday night’s callout was in response to a report of a domestic dispute and “screaming,” but that was wrong.

“We were just having sex. No way were we fighting. We were being intimate Sunday and into Sunday night,” she said.

MacKenzie’s response: “How can you live in a place where you can’t have sex? It’s ridiculous.” But: “It was mostly Jessie.”

It’s hard to see how the lovers could raise the stakes here. Maybe by bringing in a megaphone and going full Meg Ryan right into the neighbors’ wall. Maybe by attaching a swing and harness to the ceiling and humping until the whole building collapses. Maybe by littering their block with wheelbarrows of used Ben Wah balls.

A poll on Adelaide Now shows 67.61 percent of readers think the police should provide supersexy ball gags or, really, whatever it takes to get the two to shut the f*ck up.

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[Adelaide Now]
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