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Kate Middleton & Husband to Make a Blue Ivy of Their Own, Palace Says

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on December 3, 2012

There is no other news today. Not Costas hating on guns. Not the Pope on Twitter. Not The Daily shutting down. Nothing. This is not a drill.

Apparently Prince William loves Kate Middleton so much he took her behind the middle school and got it pregnant.

Kate and William are about to welcome a Blue Ivy of their own:

Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby.

The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news.

The Duchess was admitted this afternoon to King Edward VII Hospital in Central London with Hyperemesis Gravidarum [very acute morning sickness]. As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter.

Dayum, now Price Harry’s gonna be a FOURTH wheel. And a drunk uncle!

Godspeed, Baron Carrickfergus. Best to your lively wife.

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