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Crazy Idiot NJ Mom Attacks Christie’s Decision to Postpone Halloween

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on November 5, 2012

Happy Halloween, New Jersey!

Monday, November 5, in addition to being that odd holiday when hipsters and hackers don Guy Fawkes masks, doubles as the Chris Christie-approved Halloween holiday across the state of New Jersey.

Christie signed an executive order: postpone the trick-or-treating.

It made sense. Sandy beat the living crap out of Jersey. State and federal officials were still searching for bodies and counting the billions in damages on October 31, barely even in the earliest stages of recovery. You want your kids getting Diabetes with debris still everywhere? You want your kids going door-to-door when everyone’s on edge, freaking out?

This lady did. Suzanne Carson of Mullica Hill, New Jersey, was so upset with Christie’s Big Government decision that she wrote a letter to editor of NJ.com, expressing her displeasure with this Nanny State Halloween.

The area we live in was spared from the devastation, yet the entire state was lumped together as a giant disaster area. It didn’t matter that my town had already come up with an alternate plan, or that other towns had already assessed damages and realized that it was safe for our children to go and carry out their traditions.

Never before have I felt the presence of the government in my home as loudly as I did on Oct. 31. I found it very contradictory to the motto of our country. I did not feel free.

Sure. How can you ever feel completely *free* when Phase 1 of Uber-Liberal Chris Christie’s plan went into effect without challenge? First they tell you that it’s not safe to trick-or-treat, then they hot glue your lips shut, then they take your guns, then they kill your grandma, then they harvest your organs and leave you in a bathtub full of ice. Obviously.

My children learned a lesson about government. They learned that there are people in power who have the ability to make decisions that directly affect them.

Yes, finally, someone is teaching kids the right lessons. Of course this is a lesson about government intrusion. Great work, mom! The easy lesson would be that there are more important things than a “fun size” Snickers, but kudos to Suzanne for going with a degree of difficulty. Another easy lesson would be that helping neighbors in your own state recover from the most devastating storm in years is more important than dressing up as that arrogant space f*&ker from Toy Story 3, but again, that’s Parenting 101 and old hat.

Ms. Carson, you done good here. Your five-year-old and eight-year-old geniuses definitely need to learn to be fearful of government at the youngest age possible so that maybe they’ll have the guts to do what you’re only pussy-footing around, that it’s time to wear the Guy Fawkes mask on this double holiday and become a full-fledged enemy of the state before puberty.

Devastation on the Jersey Shore: A Photo Essay
Seaside Heights Roller Coaster Thrown Into Atlantic Ocean
Here’s a Guy in New Jersey Braving the Flood in an Armchair

[Thanks for the tip, Aron]
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