Why Are People Stealing Giant Hasselhoff Cutouts From Local Stores? via adfreak In the past few weeks, about 550 of the 570 David Hasselhoff cutouts advertising iced coffee have been stolen from outside Cumberland Farms convenience stores. Why can’t fans keep their hands off the pictures? Someone needs to form a Neighborhood [Bay]Watch (heyyoooo!). In the meantime, here are 5 reasons why we think the posters are disappearing: 1. To Go With the Soap Dispenser For the true Hasselhoff fan. 2. Or To Go With Their Naked Hasselhoff Poster 3. Baywatch Beach Party Since you can’t have the real thing. 4. Helping Hasselhoff Keep His Crown He calls himself “The king of the internet.” Fans just want it to stay that way. </noscript> 5. Nick Fury Standoff Who will win? marvelousRoland This: Cumberland brand strategy specialist Kate Ngo is flattered, and she’s asking “anyone with a Hasselhoff to keep it safe,” the AP reports. India Kushner is a HyperVocal staff writer. Tweet her @inkus001. [AP]