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Finally, a Rick Santorum Portrait Made Entirely from Gay Porn Thumbnails

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Slade Sohmer


By Slade Sohmer on February 21, 2012


On the same day it was revealed that Rick Santorum told Ave Maria University students in 2008 that “Satan has his sights on the United States of America,” some clever Internet artistes set their sights on creating a portrait of Rick Santorum made entirely of gay porn images. They succeeded wildly.

Feel free to click it to enlarge (that’s what he said):

That’s the work of “husband & wife superfoxes” Stephen and Vanessa, two readers of the gay website Unicorn Booty. “Such beauty! Such grace! Such Santorum!,” they write.

Here’s the question this portrait raises: If you’re Rick Santorum, the most brazenly anti-gay national political figure out there, are you more grossed out by libidinous acts of grotesque homosexuality or a beautiful image of your beautiful face made from those small thumbnails of those very acts?

On a somewhat related note, it’s time for the mainstream media to take our cue and start referring to Santorum as “Pastor Dad from Footloose.” Given these latest unearthed Satan-obsessed comments noted in the lede of this post, how much different is Santorum from Reverend Shaw Moore of Elmore City, Oklahoma? If this were a blind test, you couldn’t really be sure that “Satan is not in these books! He’s in here! He’s in your hearts. Go on home, all of you. Go and sit in judgment on yourselves,” came from John Lithgow’s legendary anti-dancing tightwad and not Santorum’s archives.

What about this one?

“And he is testing us! Every, every day, our Lord is testing us. If he wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the sorry state of our society? For the crimes that plague the big cities of this country? When he could sweep this pestilence from the face of the earth with one mighty gesture of his hand. If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation these days of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality? If our Lord wasn’t testing us, why, he could take all these pornographic books and albums, and turn them into one big fiery cinder like that! But how would that make us stronger for him? One of these days, my Lord is gonna come to me and ask me for an explanation for the lives of each and every one of you. And what am I gonna tell him on that day? That I was busy? That I was tired? That I was bored?! NO!! I can never let up! I welcome his test! I welcome this challenge from my Lord so that one day I can deliver all of you unto his hands, and when that day dawns, I don’t wanna have to do any explaining! I don’t want to be missing from your lives!”

Okay, it’s Rev. Shaw Moore, but c’mon, that could really go either way.

 


MORE SANTORUM:

The Money Shot: Santorum Unleashes C.U.M.
• Worst Santorum Rally Ever, Say Heterosexuals
Top Santorum Donor Suggests You Sluts Should Just Keep Your Damn Legs Closed
Mitt Romney Suicide Watch™ Back On After Santorum Sweep


 

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