It should be clear by now how much we love Dr. Ruth Westheimer, everyone’s favorite octogenarian psychosexual therapist. Her hipness and sense of humor belie her years. She is — no kidding — a trained sniper. She’s often among the first to make dirty jokes about Jeremy Lin or anything else on trend.
Which is why we weren’t surprised at all when the four-foot-seven doc took to Twitter to weigh in on today’s popular #youowemehead hashtag, a litany of reasons why “you” are obliged to fellate the (male or female) Twitterer:
It’s sort of funny and mostly absurd (“It’s nice out,” “1 2 3 NOT IT!!!”), but also pretty cringeworthy in theory: If someone told you in bed that you “owed” him or her anything sexual, you’d want to put your clothes back on and GTFO, right?
Which is why Dr. Ruth’s suggestions are pretty awesome:
Hell yeah, girl. Why not #iwanttogiveyouhead? Why not #iwanttomakeyoucryoutwithpleasure? Thank you, Ruth, for putting a positive sexual spin on a popular subject and pull the conversation away from potentially harmful attitudes. Jessica Valenti, eat your heart out: At least one person on Twitter is preaching enthusiastic consent! And it’s someone people will listen to. Someone has to teach kids why it’s a good thing to have sex only with people who want to have sex with you.
If only we could install Westheimer’s services in every Utah public school, the kids would be all right.
Cooper is managing editor at HyperVocal. Follow him on Twitter.
*The original version of this article implied that Dr. Ruth may not be sexually active. She may be, she may not be; it’s totally irrelevant and was therefore corrected. We love Dr. Ruth and have no reason to think she’s not totally DTF.