Cleveland Democrat Wants to Regulate Your Boners SHARE: Tweet Much was made of the Republican takeover of the House of Representatives after the 2010 midterms. But the smart pundits at the time were quick to point out that the biggest electoral consequences will unfold at the state level, where Republicans picked up a net gain of more than 680 legislative seats. That means state legislatures that had formerly been Democratic have shifted to the right, and states that were already controlled by Republicans have shifted even further to the right. In a state like Alabama, that means the passage of a controversial new anti-illegal immigration law that has led to broken families and rotted fruit. In a state like Virginia, that means bills to mandate drug testing of welfare recipients, allow faith-based adoption agencies to refuse to place children with gay couples and an insulting war-on-women bill that would require any woman seeking an abortion to first undergo an ultrasound. Democrats are fighting back as best they can against the avalanche of conservative-minded bills. But since they’re either minority parties or super-minorities with little chance of stopping them from passing, these Democrats are doing it instead with humor to highlight the absurdity of it all. Here are the two highest-profile tongue-in-cheek bills so far: Virginia Sen. Janet D. Howell offered an amendment to SB484 that read, “Prior to prescribing medication for erectile dysfunction, a physician shall perform a digital rectal examination and a cardiac stress test.” The amendment, which would have killed the bill, nearly passed. In Oklahoma, State Senator Constance Johnson tried to combat a “personhood” abortion bill with an amendment that would ban beating off and wet dreaming, among other things: “Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” Now, in Ohio: State Sen. Nina Turner has introduced Senate Bill 307 in response to efforts like House Bill 125, known as the “Heartbeat bill,” which would prohibit abortions once the heartbeat is detected. Turner’s bill takes aim at men’s reproductive rights: “Before getting a prescription for Viagra or other erectile dysfunction drugs, men would have to see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotency,” the Dayton Daily News reported. The amazing thing is that while many of the anti-abortion bills are ridiculous in scope and mandate — Virginia’s bill basically authorized science rape — Turner’s bill seems fairly reasonable. If you’re wondering why it’s odd that so many so-called small-government legislatures are trying to regulate women’s reproductive health, the DDN adds this nugget: States passed a record 92 abortion-related bills in 2011, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization that focuses on reproductive health. At the same time, fewer than one in four state legislators nationwide are women — they number 23 percent in Ohio — according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. You’re not alone in wondering why state governments are trying to re-legislate an issue that was decided long ago. One of the people asking the same question is Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau — his most recent comic, which was pulled from several papers, takes on the “shaming wand” and the Republican war on women. Rather than re-print it, head on over to his site to see it. It’s true satire at its best. Click Page 2 below to see even more tongue-in-cheek legislative responses to these Republican bills … Pages: 1 2 MOST RECENT BY Slade Sohmer:The New White House Christmas CardSmokin' Teaser: House of Cards to Return on Valentine's Day 2014Ellsbury Dough Boy Was Kinda Easy, Eh? Slade Sohmer Slade Sohmer is editor-in-chief of HyperVocal and co-host of SiriusXM's daily "Politics Powered By Twitter" program. Tweet him at @SladeHV.