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5 Things We Don’t Celebrate on 4/20

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Slade Sohmer

By Slade Sohmer on April 20, 2012


Happy 4/20, brahhh. You stoned, too? I’m, like, so stoned, dude. Yeah, no, because it’s Weed Day, a stoner national holiday, as if stoners need time off work or school to go get high.

There’s something oddly poetic about the lightheartedness of 4/20, about the sudden mainstream tribute to marijuana on 4/20, considering what else has taken place on this day in history.

Consider this your Debbie Downer Post of the Century:

Minor nuisance named Adolf Hitler is born (1889)

If you want, here’s a fun 4/20 idea: Get stoned, project this pic on your biggest wall and sit around laughing at Hitler’s seductive short shorts photo shoot all day long.

 

The Columbine High School Massacre (1999)

Do yourself a favor and read Dave Cullen’s book about Columbine. If you haven’t done it yet, you probably don’t know really know anything about it. Dude did research, got it right.

 

The Deepwater Horizon oil well exploded in the Gulf of Mexico (2010)

The Transocean rig went up in more than smoke. BP hopes your short-term memory is affected.

 

Man kills a hostage/himself at NASA’s Johnson Space Center (2007)

Police say gunman William Phillips had been under a lot of stress and feared losing his gig as an engineer. Perhaps chilling out to some Bob Marley would have helped.

 

The Soviets shoot down Korean Air Flight 902 (1978)

It was so high, in Russian airspace, then it lost its buzz. Two passengers were killed when Soviet aircraft opened fire on the civilian aircraft. The plane made an emergency landing on a frozen lake — 107 passengers and crew survived the missile attack.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled stoner marathon. Phish rules.

 

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