10 Conservatives Cruising Craigslist for Gay Sex at CPAC The Conservative Political Action Conference, the annual Republican Woodstock, kicked off in our nation’s capital on Thursday. The weekend-long event draws about 10,000 center-right to far-right politically motivated activists and elected officials from around the country to set up camp in DC. For most conference attendees, CPAC offers them the chance to not only attend workshops, vote in the famous straw poll and take in high-profile speeches, but to meet like-minded folks who share similar worldviews. And for some of them, it offers up the chance to meet really like-minded folks who share a secretive predilection. Since Grindr wouldn’t be able to tell us who’s in town for CPAC and who’s just on the prowl, we called up Craigslist on our Netscape Navigator browser and looked around for who’s cruising for good times away from the prying eyes of friends and family back home. These were all posted within the last day or two. We did not plant any of them or alter them in any way. And we’re genuinely rooting for this lot, hoping all these guys score — it doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you sit on, or what you sit on, everyone’s entitled to some lovin’ they prefer. If it’s too small, click to enlarge (that’s what he said?). The Reluctant Penetrator This dude’s a pro, throwing out online cruising acronyms like “HWP” (height/weight proportionate, aka “not you, fatty”). Although nobody must have ever pointed out to him that “discrete” means separate or distinct; he’s looking for “discreet,” which means “I’ll literally kill you if you threaten to tell.” Follow Us The OCD Bottom Short and sweet: I’m young and clean, you’re young and clean, let’s do this. Bring lube and Lysol. The Just Jerker You may think you’re living on the down-low, bud, but if you describe yourself in real-life to real people as having “auburn” hair, everyone already knows you’re gay. The Group Leader Now this is a guy we can all get behind (erm, sorry). Forget these one-on-one heavy-petting seshes — it’s Caligula time! Response must be sorely lacking, however, as he posted two similar ads this week. This one (NSFW pic) says a “couple guys got together last year, and it was a really good time.” Surely. Uber-repressed group action must be arms and limbs and flag pins flyin’ around like crazy. Hot. The Silver Fox Awesome typo: This dude’s clearly seeking a ‘fu’ shot. Bonus points for pointing out that he will be wearing a coat and tie downstairs, as opposed to just a towel and a cell phone. (Also: Chris Lee?) The Patriot With a Daddy Complex It’s time to play matchmaker. Lookin’ for an older guy? There’s a silver fox right there! Although this 175-pound twink (is that possible?) sure puts up a lot of hurdles before making a connection. The Home-wrecking Hate Fucker Are you white, married, hairy and discreet? It’s not clear this guy is part of CPAC — in fact, it seems that he’s just interested in servicing you while you’re in town and away from the Mrs. For a guy who says he’s into the conservative type, CPAC must be like Vegas coming to his hometown. The Paranoid Hornball Most people cruising Craigslist spend time describing themselves and what kind of guy they’re into. This guy’s approach seems to be “I don’t care whatcha look like, just be as scared of being outed as I am.” The Bi Masc Jock No jokes about him at all. Even money that he’s the closeted heartthrob of CPAC. Go get ‘im, fellers. The Friend Seeker Either he’s the Forever Alone who’s finally ready to find himself a true mate, or this is the type of unassuming ad that will lead to a very bad GHB-fueled night of non-consensual BDSM. Good luck one and all — here’s to hoping you find that special someone. </noscript> Follow Us Slade Sohmer Slade Sohmer is editor-in-chief of HyperVocal and co-host of SiriusXM's daily "Politics Powered By Twitter" program. Tweet him at @SladeHV.
Lisa 09.02.12 @ 7:59 pm No way that last guy is seeking friends. Think you’re right about his true intentions.
OsborneInk 09.02.12 @ 9:20 pm Is there a closet at the convention hall big enough for all these people? Say what you will about Netroots Nation, but the gay guys just wear it out loud and seem very happy to be that way.
HV 09.02.12 @ 10:30 pm Hotel clerk: And I have you down as staying with us for three nights. CPACer: Yes, but I don’t need a room. Just gimme a closet.
Ross 10.02.12 @ 8:40 am I’m all for calling out the conservative politicians who actually do this, but what proof do you have that any of these are even real?
Anonymous 10.02.12 @ 10:22 am Conservative closet cases are nothing new, and they’re amusing more than anything. Remember Larry Craig?
Anonymous 10.02.12 @ 12:19 pm Some heroic, selfless gay guy needs to go undercover and collect the identities of these self-hating morons. Given the damage they do to people, they need to be outed
Anonymous 10.02.12 @ 12:36 pm “175-pound twink”. What, is he 6’6″? Or did the definition of “twink” change recently?
Leonardo Falcon 10.02.12 @ 1:20 pm Wow… and these are the people who will vote against any rights for the LGBT community! Shame on them… it would be cool to respond to the adds and meet them with the media and out them all….
Tom_catt2000 10.02.12 @ 3:11 pm well i can tell you they’re real seeing that i contacted some of the men for hook ups…noooooooo i didnt hook up with them..but they’re real and they love to send pics.
Anonymous 10.02.12 @ 4:40 pm HA! Sara has the best line on here haha. I would definitely fit the white and hairy, but not married…..I feel like I missed out on an all-time event.
Anonymous 10.02.12 @ 10:01 pm I suppose we should be relieved that they did not post any solicitations for pedophilia. Maybe the Repuglicans are improving in that regard– but I doubt it.
Scott Schumacher 11.02.12 @ 3:40 pm I’m not defending anyone with this statement, let me be clear. I think that being out is the honest way to be and shows the most integrity. But there are groups there like folks in the Log Cabin Republicans, and GOProud, an openly gay conservative group (if you read the news, you know that some groups boycotted CPAC because these folks were attending). Everyone needs some good-old fun so long as they are concentual in nature. We don’t know if these folks are closeted, etc, and line in a craigslist ad doesn’t illustrate someone’s entire character. Sure, we want folks to be out, but to me it says that there are homos in the Republican party, and it shows that the landscape is changing radically. Post away on Craigslist I say!
Chris 11.02.12 @ 5:08 pm Here’s my theory: Savage and Choi make that video while 500 feet away from a restaurant with a (gay, duh) waiter in it. People watch the video and snicker. Next year various trolls who may or may not hook up to a horny guy with pictures post some fun ads on Craig’s. Not clear if any of these guys are actually part of the convention in any way. Probably all the gay reporters and hotel staff are into it. Not that there aren’t slutty gay republicans; it’s just that this is a little arrogant and sefl-assured even for them.
Tommy, tho people usually call 12.02.12 @ 8:16 am Come on, CL is only a tiny fraction of the story. You should have been staking out the men’s rooms.
Anonymous 12.02.12 @ 11:26 am I think it’s the conservatives it makes crazy. That’s why they are hiding out in the closet fearing for their lives. If they were out and proud like liberal gays, their conservative “friends” would go all Joan Crawford on them.