What a fantastic weekend. You’d obviously be forgiven for shutting off your brain and tuning out the news and nonsense that pervades your workweek. So, here’s a quick one-pager on what you might have missed while heading out to the beach with a sixer of Bruce Willis-endorsed Seagrams wine coolers.

[Debt Ceiling Debacle] Speaker John “Hell No” Boehner excoriated Tea Party members of Congress on the House floor for saying no to his ill-fated plan to raise the debt ceiling. In the end, the Boehner Bill passed the House 218-210 on Friday, with no Democratic support. It was quickly voted down in the Senate 59-41. Now a deal framework seems to be in place — it involves $1.2 trillion in cuts, a Special Congressional Committee, some triggers, and a lot of unhappy Democrats.

[Spammer: @BarackObama] So the Internet exploded in complaint after the @BarackObama account sent out endless tweet after endless tweet urging Twitter users to contact their GOP representatives and support #compromise. He lost 40,000 followers in the process (no big thing when you have 10 million). Quick note: If you’re more pissed about being spammed on Twitter than you are about how Washington is handling this debt crisis, you are part of the problem. Stop whining.

[Crazy People] So what’s it going to take to pass this impasse? Barack Obama needs to channel his inner Dudley Moore. Read all about bringing truth to politics via honest slogans.

[Havoc on the Hill] This is the best thing you’ll see about the debt ceiling debacle. This is close.

[Obummer] By the way, President Obama’s approval rating hits an all-time low of 40.

[Great Unsolved Mysteries] Is the infamous DB Cooper skyjacking case about to be solved 40 years later? This is fascinating stuff: “The FBI today revealed that it believes it has America’s most elusive fugitive finally in its sights 40 years after famed hijacker DB Cooper disappeared when he jumped out of a plane over Washington.”

[Guardian Fail] Pop quiz, hotshots: A 10-year-old girl in your care steals a popsicle from the freezer. What do you do? a) Send her to her room with no dinner; b) Take away her Internet privileges; c) Ground her for a week; d) Force her do to calisthenics, then lock her in a footlocker and padlock her in there? If you answered d, congratulations, you’re the worst guardians ever. Oh, also, she’s dead.

[1, 2, 3, 4...5?] New York Yankees’ minor-league pitcher Mark Montgomery struck out five batters in an appearance for Class A Charleston this week. Five? Yup. Never been done in MLB.

[Double That] Perhaps more difficult than striking out five is leaving 10 kids in a car for at least two hours while you sit in a seedy lounge. Oh, and it was 101 with the heat index.

[That's Racist!] The 2011 FIFA Club World Cup, the annual tournament that brings together champion clubs from all six confederations, isn’t until December. But Brazilian powerhouse FC Santos is already trying to drum up support for its team with a new website and corresponding promotional ad campaign. The only problem? Um, this might be a wee bit insulting to the host nation: Japan.

[You Got Nuthin'] Tropical Storm Don was more like Tropical Storm Dud.

[Snooping Dogs] This is kinda troubling: “Internet providers would be forced to keep logs of their customers’ activities for one year–in case police want to review them in the future–under legislation that a U.S. House of Representatives committee approved today.”

[Not the Post!] There’s no way the civic-minded New York Post would ever do anything immoral, amirite? “News Corp.’s legal department on Friday issued a notice to New York Post staff asking them to save any information related to phone hacking and bribery of government officials, as the company faces ongoing scrutiny in a reporting-tactics scandal stemming from its News of the World U.K. tabloid.”

[A Bra for You, Some Panties for You] Amy Winehouse’s dad Mitch gave away some of his daughter’s clothes and jewelry to fans at a vigil for the dear departed singer.

[Fort Hood Part Deux] Pretty sure we’re gonna need some more psych testing on our troops: “An AWOL soldier who was allegedly plotting a bombing attack on fellow soldiers near Fort Hood, Texas, was charged in federal court Friday with possession of an illegal firearm that was to be used in the assault.”

[Seriously, Stop Doing This] No texting while driving! (In certain circumstances, it’s okay to sext while driving. But only after 2 am.) Never any texting, though. It’s dangerous. Here’s why: “The driver of a car that overturned Thursday on Interstate 74 in Bettendorf may be the second person in the city to be cited for texting while driving since enforcement of a state law banning the practice began July 1, said Police Chief Phil Redington.”

[And Finally] Wait, Ferguson from Clarissa Explains It All predicted Cowboys and Aliens?

Enjoy the weekend, folks. We’ll update as major news happens…

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