Some great stuff emerged from the earth while you were sleeping. Let’s take a look at what you need to know after this quick pic of how to make your own Moammar Gadhafi:

–Texas Governor Rick Perry thinks Juarez is the “most dangerous city in America.” Don’t be so hard on the wannabe secessionist. That would be true if Juarez were in America. Also, huge thumbs down to “Texas-Sized Gaffe” headline on both Politico and The Huffington Post. Weak sauce.

–New poll! We may not know a whole lot of specifics about unions, but we do know this: “Americans oppose weakening the bargaining rights of public employee unions by a margin of nearly two to one: 60 percent to 33 percent.” Your move, Governor Walker.

–This guy is such a cliché: An anti-gay pastor…has his own skeletons…was arrested…for allegedly masturbating…in a van…at a park…watching children. Meet Rev. Grant Storms.

–In 24 hours Charlie Sheen has talked about “winning” and “victory” more than the generals in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheen hit the Piers Morgan program on Monday night, delivering some absolutely classic lines. This guy’s definitely on drugs, and the media’s definitely exploiting him, but if you don’t think it’s at least compelling television, then you’re fighting against your inner self on that one. Line of the night: When asked if he’s taking cocaine, Sheen said “I’m not taking it — I had to pay for it.”

–The Daily Show shows us just how far CNN has fallen:

–When I die I want my obit headline to read “Voluptuous Star of Westerns” like Jane Russell.

–You know how Republicans keep calling everything President Obama and the Democrats propose a “job-killing plan?” They ain’t gonna like this one: “A Republican plan to sharply cut federal spending this year would destroy 700,000 jobs through 2012, according to an independent economic analysis…”

–Facebook turns to the Dark Side: “Facebook will be moving forward with a controversial plan to give third-party developers and external websites the ability to access users’ home addresses and cellphone numbers in the face of criticism from privacy experts, users, and even congressmen.”

–Who doesn’t love a Denny’s fight? Here are the Top 10 Denny’s Fights Caught on Camera.

–Headline of the Day: “Breast Milk Ice Cream Causes Hepatitis Fears In London.”

–How do you follow up the words “I love Hitler?” If you’re Christian Dior fashion guru John Galliano, you do so with the words: “People like you would be dead. Your mothers, your forefathers, would all be fuckin’ gassed.” Yup, and it’s all caught on video. That’s not, as Chaz Sheen would say, winning.

And, now, you may all go about your days. Enjoy.

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