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Osama bin Wankin: Porn Stash Found in bin Laden’s Compound (Titles Revealed)

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You knew this was, er, coming: U.S. commandos who killed Osama bin Laden and retrieved the “mother lode” of intelligence also uncovered a “fairly extensive” stash of pornography, according to Reuters.

Between the porn stash and the revelation that marijuana was found growing outside his compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, why exactly did bin Laden wish death to America? He’d fit right in here.

Reuters attributed the report to “current and former U.S. officials”:

The pornography recovered in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.

The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said they did not know if bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials.

Not much else is known about the stash, but we’re guessing that titles included: AbbottaBadGirls, Double Tap Dat Ass, 2 Girls 1 Jihadist, Head Shot, 72 Virgins, Weapons of Ass Destruction, Burqakke Girls, Arabian Goggles, and, a real favorite in the Arab world, Al Jizzeera.

Others rounded up from around the Twitterverse: Aboutabutt, Death to Nymphidels, SEAL Team Sex, 9-11 inches, An-al Qaeda, Debbie Does Dubai, Dirty Bomb, Suicide Bomb Her, Compoundin’, Talibangin’, Money Shots Between the Eyes, PackingStan, Talibang Bus, Mujahideep Throat, Osama binDover, Suicide Bang Bros, GITMO Girls, Muff Diving Mecca, Terrorfist, Tora Whore-a, Jihadin the Salami, Deep in the Cave, Bombing the U.S.S. Hole, You Pitch It, Allah Catch It, and the best one so far, courtesy of Deadspin’s @drewmagary, “The Bigger The Cushion, The Sweeter The Pushtun.”

Of course, “our guys” could have just made the whole thing up. But we’re believers in the porn story.

What else do you think bin Laden was watching? Weigh in below with some classics of your own. Also, check out the hashtags #OBLporn and #binladenporntitles for more.

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