18 Days: It’s Time to Cast Hollywood’s Egyptian Revolution Film On February 11th, 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from Victor Verster Prison outside Cape Town, South Africa after 27 years as a political prisoner. On the very same day, James Buster Douglas, a 42-to-1 underdog, dealt Mike Tyson his first professional loss with the largest upset in boxing history, becoming the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. And on this day, today, February 11, 2011, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak officially resigned as the leader of the nation he ruled for more than 30 years, on the 18th day of mostly peaceful protests. Hollywood and the rest of the international cinema industry is no doubt lining up directors and screenwriters to greenlight an Egyptian revolution project. To do our part, we’ve taken the liberty of lining up the perfect cast of who should star in the sure-to-be award-winning film “18 Days.” While we’d love to shoot for authenticity, for this to film play big in the West it’ll probably have to be a Hollywood blockbuster where everyone speaks English with a vaguely British accent. So let’s operate on that premise. Assuming the producers find the perfect screenwriter/director combination — we’re thinking urban specialist Fernando Meirelles, City of God director, at the helm and Syriana/Traffic writer Stephen Gaghan on the script — the film will only be successful if the leading actor has the chops to pull it off. So who’s got the gravitas to star as Hosni Mubarak? Ian F*&kin’ McShane. The 68-year-old English actor has shown through his brilliant turn as Deadwood‘s Al Swearengen that he can pull off the larger-than-life ruthless dictator who can own the word “cocksucker.” And while we don’t know what’s happened behind the scenes in Mubarak’s Cairo palace these past 18 days, it’s a safe bet that he’s screamed that word in the direction of the millions of protesters on many occasions. For the recently installed, quickly forgotten Vice President Omar Suleiman, who better than a Jew from Brooklyn? Slap some Jersey Shore-brand fake tan on Richard Dreyfuss and you’ve got yourself a veep. The biggest Schiavo no-brainer of the casting process goes to Mohamed ElBaradei, Egyptian law scholar, former Director General of the International Atomic Energy Agency and Nobel Peace prize winner. ElBaradei returned to Egypt and joined the youthful protesters, though he declared after Mubarak vacated the presidency that he would not seek to run for the top office in Egypt. Take one look at this guy — is there anyone on this planet who can play the role better than Jeffrey Tambor? Hey now, Egypt. Then there’s the subplot of Wael Ghonim, the charismatic young Google executive who helped launch the protests in Tahrir Square and was secretly incarcerated by Egyptian police for 11 days. His story might turn out to be the best — does anyone seriously doubt that he will run for president…and win? This one was tough, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone better than French Moroccan actor Saïd Taghmaoui, best known for his roles in Three Kings, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and Vantage Point. He’s seen in this photo here with Egyptian police torture already beaten into his character. What’s missing so far? Women! Egypt’s a total sausage fest, or whatever meat the Egyptian people eat. Despite this Facebook group called “Women in Egypt,” and despite women showing up in photos and demonstrations in Tahrir Square, there’s been no true leading lady. So in true Hollywood form, we’ll either have to invent a female character that sleeps with Mubarak but whose heart lies with the protesters, or we’ll have to center around a female character who’s leading the protests online but whose father won’t allow her to go to Tahrir Square, until she finally says “The hell with you!” and makes it there. Either, or both, roles will be played by Natalie Portman. Because, really, what movie doesn’t star Natalie Portman these days? She’s everywhere! Anderson Cooper, of course, will play himself, and he’ll be forced to re-live his brazen attack. He’s got the chops for it. But there is one minor media role left to cast. Back in the United States, the right-wing echo chamber has come a bit unhinged at the thought of non-Christian people rising up. Glenn Beck, Fox News’ resident conspiracy theorist, has repeatedly warned that the uprisings in Egypt could lead to an Islamic caliphate spreading across the Middle East. And even though this dude doesn’t look like him, he perfectly captures the spirit of the horseshit Beck peddles every night — Scary Train Guy from Ghost: (As Hadley points out in the comments below, Vincent Sciavelli died several years ago. We’ll have to CGI him in, because he’s too perfect not to star as Beck in the film.) The scenes in Tahrir Square — from the two weeks of peaceful protests and the few days of clashes between pro-Mubarak supporters and anti-government demonstrators — will blend real-life footage and as many extras as the crew can find. Hat Is Bread Guy, of course, will star as himself: And in true Hollywood fashion, this film has somehow already been greenlit as a trilogy. Part II will be subtitled: “Syriasly, Da Masses in Damascus” and Part III will be called “Yemen: Yeah, Man.” Did we miss anyone? Who else should be cast? Have any better calls for people we already cast? Slade Sohmer Slade Sohmer is editor-in-chief of HyperVocal and co-host of SiriusXM's daily "Politics Powered By Twitter" program. Tweet him at @SladeHV.
SanTang 11.02.11 @ 3:21 pm I see no Egyptian. The revolution has already been absorbed by the Big American Stomach!?!
Bobby 11.02.11 @ 3:40 pm This is sheer brilliance! I was trying to think of a tubby, spiked blonde haired person who could play Beck but Hollywood could doll up the loon from Ghost to play Glenn. 18 Days could become a Sundance favorite it if ever came to fruition.
Hadley 11.02.11 @ 3:52 pm Unfortunately, the subway guy fromGhost, Vincent Sciavelli, died a few years back. Besides, no one who graced the screen in Buckaroo Banzai could stoop to portray Glenn Beck! I’d go for Beck’s complete opposite, someone like Alec Baldwin. You just know he’d love to do it.
Mahmoud Eissa 13.02.11 @ 8:31 am As an eye witness and participant to the glorious demonstrations in Tahrir Square, I would suggest that you can start by cooperating with the excisting Egyptian movie stars who were side by side with the demonstrators and if you can use real people who gathered there, you’ll have a great movie that depicts a real epic. As to honor the sacrifices of our brothers and sisters, I would love to be in that movie…
Sarwat Nafei 13.02.11 @ 11:50 am As participant in the revolution I am an egyptian/canadaian and would have admired the idea if it included egyptians as well!
Hisham Naser 13.02.11 @ 1:12 pm I think Jeffrey Tambor and Richard Dreyfuss are perfect but Adel Emam a Egyptian star is good to play Hsni Mubarak character and John Cusack is good to play Wael Ghonim long live Egypt
Neveen 13.02.11 @ 2:12 pm I think Egyptians or Egyptian Americans should be the stars of a film about Egyptians. It’s insane to Americanize this revolution for the sake of a few bucks. If it were a documentary about Egypt, it would be more true to form.
Omar 13.02.11 @ 3:06 pm This is a joke right? The revolution only ended last week! And let me guess..since we’re talking Hollywood here..there’s going to be an affair between the Wael Ghonim character and Natalie Portman?
Rasha 13.02.11 @ 4:02 pm I agree, there are alot of really great Egyptian actors who were actually involved in the revolution, the least that should be done is to let them act in this movie
Hazem 13.02.11 @ 4:31 pm what about having me star with your cast, i’m egyptin and will be well recognized as an egyptin youth check my FB: http://www.facebooc.com/z000m
Hazem 13.02.11 @ 4:41 pm what about having me star with your cast, i’m egyptin and will be well recognized as an egyptin youth check my FB: http://www.facebooc.com/z000m If it were a documentary about Egypt, it would be more true to form
happy-2-B-Egyptian 13.02.11 @ 8:57 pm I believe Mr. Robert De Niro would make a perfect Mr. Mubarak. Mr. De Niro’s nose/lip combo & facial expressions would excel at this role. Please make sure the guy doing Mr. Omar Suleiman mentions the term “Brother Muslimhood” (Google it & laugh) at least 4 times in his script. Good Luck.
mohamed mahmoud 14.02.11 @ 6:02 am you can get egyptian actor with revolution from the first day and he is known by his situations against the egyptian authorities. here http://www.khalednabawy.com khaled nabawy one of the most important actor can play the role of wael goghiem
Ola Roshdy 14.02.11 @ 2:50 pm I totally agree… there were a lot of male Egyptian great actors who were demonstrating day in day out…. You should definitely do the casting in Egypt… I can help with that…I am an actress and producer here in Cairo…. Let’s just see the script first!
nada 14.02.11 @ 6:24 pm Richard Dreyfuss is a good actor that i totally agree about but about the script and the view you should really come to egypt this days to see, about the president mubarak i think someone not famous will be better or robert de nero the female girl dont make her father against the demonstration cause that is totally wrong and there is a girl already do that her name is asmaa hafez, they thretened her my advise is to make movie really about egypt, not about how hollywood can make a story dont put in it sleeps with and such things cause that wont work and wont be believed if u make something like kingdom of heaven dont change the history and it will success
Omar A Said 14.02.11 @ 7:29 pm Please contact me. I am an actor in MD. I need to find out if this movie is real. both my parents are Egyptian. and I am eager to work on a project like this. please feel free to email me. all best Omar
Omar A Said 14.02.11 @ 7:34 pm Furthermore. I’ve studied Theater at University of Maryland Baltimore County, and I had a wonderful education and experience there. I would like the opportunity to audition for this film. I would also like to get my hands on a script.:) let’s change the world! Take care all. Omar A Said my email is omarsaidwhat@gmail.com please please please contact me if any other information is out there.
i am egyptian 16.02.11 @ 5:09 am why all american make bad picture about egypt??! leave egypt and lets make our movies or you all will make a lot of haters for americans believe me
Moustafa Aamer 26.02.11 @ 3:37 am Iam An Egyptian American lives In New Jersey and i would love to be in this movie specialy It’s About my country and i dont care if im going to be in a small scene, also i have done too many short movies here in the U.S. Thank You !
Eman Salah 26.02.11 @ 5:14 am Thank you Hollywood for taking this initiative, however it would give the movie more credibility to have Egyptian actors to perform in this movie, and consult Egyptian Screenplay writer to have all the information and data that you might need for the movie. If you may allow me I have some nominations to give: - Khaled El Sawy to play the role of Mubarak - Amr Waked to play the role of Wael Ghonaim
Mohammad Fayez 13.03.11 @ 5:32 pm i dont know if this is the right place to post my question or not, but i am a script writer, into politics. and i have some good sources. if u need help or researches
Marwan Youssef 27.04.11 @ 8:16 pm I’m an Egyption young actor,I would really love to be a part of this movie and I agree that you should have some of the Egyption people who really felt the pain at each day,also I would like to offer you my help and I have my contacts in the movie making industry here at Cairo that would love to be a part of this great movie so please contact me on 0020101633255 or by mail . Looking forward to hear from you.
MirAm 20.05.11 @ 1:55 pm I want to act in this film aim an Egyptian girl I was born 17/12/1996 iamm in French international school I speak English Arabic and French I cAn act