Meet Eugene Delgaudio, a man who lives one life as an official on the Loudon County Board of Supervisors and another as the president of the far-right non-profit Public Advocate of the U.S.
Delgaudio wrote and distributed an e-mail in behalf of his Public Advocate of the U.S. organization about the recent ridiculousness involving invasive TSA patdowns. Hooray, left, right, center, we’re all in agreement! But here’s where Delgaudio deviates from normal, civilized folk who use the logic and reason parts of their brains: He claims the pat downs are part of a radical homosexual agenda.
WUSA9 reports that Delgaudio wrote this as part of his e-blast: “It’s the federal employee’s version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights…That means the next TSA official that gives you an ‘enhanced pat down’ could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.”
Yup, all them practicing homosexuals are eyeing your junk and salivating. Here’s the report:
Delgaudio, as you might expect, is no stranger to homosexual fan fiction. As Towleroad reported back in April, Delgaudio penned a bizarre fundraising letter in which he described a visit to some sort of homosexual petition factory (not to be confused with a bath house):
One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press.
Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time Delgaudio we can’t lose.” Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win. You see, even though homosexuals are just 1% of the population, if every one sent a petition to Congress it would generate a tidal wave of two or three million petitions or more. Hundreds of thousands of pro-homosexual petitions will soon flood Congress , and my friends in Congress tell me there’s virtually nothing on Capitol Hill from the tens of millions of Americans like you who oppose the radical Homosexual Agenda and the Gay Bill of Special Rights.
This is clearly a man in need of some serious psychological repair, if not a steamy evening spent in the loving, capable arms of big, strong man’s deep caress.