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TLC: From Educational Programming to ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’

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Marisa Kabas

By Marisa Kabas on December 18, 2013

At this point TLC’s name is ironic. TLC stands for “The Learning Channel,” though the learning part has been completely absent for some years.

The network’s crown jewel for the last few years has been Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, a spin-off of the detestable Toddlers & Tiaras, and it seems like TLC has completely given up on providing any sort of value to its viewers. To that end, the channel announced yet another piece of ratings-bait trash, “Sex Sent Me to the ER,” premiering Dec. 28th.

But maybe, just maybe, this is TLC’s grand plan to put the L back in its name. Back in 1972 it was originally called The Appalachian Community Service Network, and when it was privatized in 1980 it became The Learning Channel. The babies who grew up in the ’80s watching Discovery Kids have since hit puberty, and the network recognized that it needed programming applicable to every day life.

Things You’ll Learn From Sex Sent Me to the ER:

1. Ways to avoid having your head smashed through a wall … during sex

2. Ways to avoid your parents finding out that your head smashed through a wall … during sex

3. Don’t have sex with your wife and mistress at the same time because your penis will break

4. Don’t have sex in a janitor closet because it’s too small and you will get injured

5. What to do you if your orgasm continues post-coitus

6. The excuses you shouldn’t use to cover up the fact that you were cheating on your wife (i.e. you fell while washing windows)

The dramatic reenactments will be of particular value for viewers. Sort of like CSI meets Masters of Sex.

Make sure to have a writing utensil and surface with you while watching this show. We never stop growing and we never stop learning.

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[via NY Post]
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