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‘Chanukah Honey’ Is the Seductive Jewish Answer to ‘Santa Baby’

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Jews get the shit end of the stick when it comes to holiday music.

We pretend like “All I Want For Christmas Is You” applies to us, but in reality we’re never going to wait underneath the mistletoe because WE DON’T HAVE MOTHERBLEEPING MISTLETOE. Sorry, I’m okay now.

But finally there’s a new seductive Hanukkah anthem to help you get laid during this year’s festival of lights called “Chanukah Honey.” Jewess Rachel Bloom shows the chosen people how to slink around the Menorah — or, special this year, the Menurkey — and get more than gelt.

This girl has chutzpah. Challah!

One minor quibble: Why not use the AP style-accepted spelling of Hanukkah on this one? It would have been totes alliterative.

SEE ALSO:
‘Jewish Hunger Games: Kvetching Fire’ Is a Yom Kippur Appetizer
Channing Tatum Parodies Van Damme’s Truck Split On Set

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