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‘Hot Cheetos & Takis’: The Best Thing to Happen to the Tween Rap Game

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By Jordan Pedersen on August 16, 2012

It’s been a big year for young ruffians. Sixteen-year-old Chicago sensation/Kanye disser/talentless assclown Chief Keef just got signed by Interscope on the “strength” of his moronic single “I Don’t Like.” “I Don’t Like” consists chiefly of a list of things Keef “don’t like” (sneak dissers, snitches, etc.) punctuated by his signature ad-lib, “bang bang,” because apparently that counts as an ad-lib now.

And Messr. Keef, depressingly enough, seems to have inspired a kind of race to the bottom: Lil’ Mouse, all of 13, just dropped “Get Smoked,” a vile slice of re-purposed trap music cut from largely the same cloth as “I Don’t Like” and the rest of Keef’s clumsy, derivative discography. Throughout, Mouse waves a stack of one-dollar bills and dougies with a bunch of adults who are inexplicably hanging out with a 13-year-old.

You Waka Flocka wannabes grunt and make gun noises all you want, but for chrissakes, leave the children out of it. Or better yet, teach them something other than how to wave their dreadlocks and complain.

Happily, an alternative has emerged: North Community Beats and Rhymes, a YMCA after-school program in Minneapolis, just released “Hot Cheetos & Takis,” credited to the Y.N. Rich Kids. The beat, which sounds something like Lex Luger by way of Looney Tunes, is nothing to write home about. The real revelation is how legitimately dope these kids are at spitting: Each kid has a distinct voice and flow, and each one serves up a series of funny, clever lines, some complete with tricky internal rhymes (“My mama said ‘have you had enough?/I look and I said ‘no ma’am’/I go ham in the grocery store”).

Keef and Lil’ Mouse sound disinterested — or cajoled — at best, but the Rich Kids actually sound like they’re having fun. That’s that shit I do like.

(Thanks to the always stellar Passion of the Weiss for the tip. Their write-up is hilarious, especially if you’re a blog rap troll.)

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Jordan Pedersen (@jordasch) is a writer living in Chicago. He’s co-writing and producing a sketch show at Donny’s Skybox at Second City about Mitt Romney called “Goddamn, Mitt.” (Say it out loud.)

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