Okay, first things first. The Walking Dead mid-season premiere, “The Suicide King,” was pretty much a total disappointment.
We’re very clearly in the process of moving characters around for the inevitable confrontation between the prison people and the Woodbury people, which makes for an all-around lack of awesomeness. I’m just being real here.
All of the high-tension cliff hangers from the mid-season finale are merrily wrapped up without too much trouble, and everyone rides back home in the perpetually shined and waxed Hyundai, the official escape vehicle of the zombie apocalypse. Well, not everyone. Daryl heads off into the woods with Merle because nobody wants Merle hanging around. Understandable. But still. No ultraviolence? No yelling? No interesting developments in gender politics other than Carol folding laundry and Beth taking care of the baby?
I’m happy to see Rick continuing to lose his grip on reality, though. Instead of a therapist, what Rick gets is a mysterious ghost-lady dressed in white, her face hidden in shadow, giving him the silent treatment. Sounds like my childhood! Heyoo. But seriously folks, this is what happens when you don’t talk about your feelings. You go crazy and you can’t hold your infant daughter without everything going all echo-y.
It’s only a matter of time before Rick (who is crazy) and the Governor (who is a sociopath) confront each other. They’re obviously going to end up fighting, and I think that’s kind of a shame because they’re both clearly really lonely and just need a like-minded dude to kick it with. Heavy is the head, you know? Every guy should have another guy friend that he can just be totally open with, just dudes being real with each other. I really thought Rick and Daryl were getting to that point but Daryl ran off with his asshole brother because they have an abusive relationship — hey thanks for pointing that out Carol I thought that was really quite insightful — and Rick didn’t put up too much of a fight about it. I guess Daryl needs this right now. I just hope Rick has the emotional capacity to take him back when the time comes, you know? Also he had to kill his last BFF so there’s gotta be some trust issues there. (I don’t know about you guys but I really miss Shane.)
Speaking of Shane, what’s going on with Glen? Remember when he pulled that walker out of the car and kicked its head in a little bit gratuitously? Also, remember when Ryan Gosling did more or less the same thing in Drive and Michelle Williams saw it and was totally freaked out? Yeah, well, Maggie doesn’t really seem to mind. And then Hershel tries to get Glen and Maggie to talk to him about their feelings but they’re not having it. Shit was rough in Woodbury. Those crazy kids are gonna be all right though. They’re great for each other and their babies are going to be beautiful.
But honestly. I’m writing my first ever TV recap and this is the episode you guys come up with? I’m dying out here. Is this thing on? Nothing freaking happened, people! We’re all so pumped that Dennis “Cutty” Wise made it out of Baltimore because that could be a great mash-up storyline and you leave us totally hanging. I could have been watching the Grammys!
Brendan O’Connor likes teevee. Tweet him at @OConnorB_.