judas was creepy

14 Pictures That Prove Judas Was the Creepiest Dude in History

According to the New Testament, Judas Iscariot identified Jesus to Roman soldiers by kissing him after the Last Supper. It’s not clear whether Jesus knew what was coming: Some say he received Judas’ kiss out of affection and friendship, having set up his own arrest — meaning the betrayal was no betrayal at all.

Others say Judas’ lips never touched Jesus’ face, and as the apostle approached, Jesus recoiled and said, “You would use a kiss to betray me?”

Perhaps none of this happened at all. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all have divergent accounts. The only thing we can assert with 100% historical accuracy is that holy shit, Judas was creepy as fuck. Just look at him. Ugh.

Bro, nobody wants to kiss you. Not until you shave that stupid fucking ugly-ass molestache and stop giving Jesus the most determined, predatory bedroom eyes and rubbing your mouth on his cheek like you’re sharing Chapstick. Even worse, you know Pontius Pilate is watching you herb on your boy here. Dude. Gross.

(In Giotto‘s 1304–06 fresco El beso de Judas, Judas looked a lot like Blake Griffin.)

One thing you can’t hate him for: The dude knew how to cut a fucking rug.

On a serious (and depressing) note, the anti-Semitism that crept into medieval Christian art is apparent in every depiction of Judas. With his demonic eyes, gaunt face, hooked nose and bulging lips, Judas’ image looks disturbingly similar to, say, The Merchant of Venice’s Shylock. Around the same era, blatantly anti-Semitic art began to surface — images like the “Judensau,” in which Jews were shown eating Satan’s feces while fornicating with pigs and other “unclean” animals. All these stereotypes eventually resurfaced — in Joseph Goebbels’ Nazi propaganda.

[Everthorne]

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Comments (22) Write a comment

  1. Pingback: This & That - The Daily What

  2. Um… a) Judas was no more real than Jesus. b) These aren’t pictures, they’re paintings. If he appears creepy, blame the artists. Idiots.

  3. “Hay Jesus you smell nice”
    “Judas stop it”
    “but yo’ beard so soft”
    “Judas I’m serious”

  4. Picture: 1. A visual representation or image painted, drawn, photographed, or otherwise rendered on a flat surface.

    I believe you mean “photographs”…idiot.

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  6. Okay, wait. Judas kissed Jesus and hardcore religious people are bigots anyway? Something is backwards here.

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  8. Jesus wasn’t real? Get your facts right before posting moronic comments.

  9. I have my facts. Also, the bible is t the word of god. Just a bunch of old men sitting around recording their prejudices.

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