If “all politics is local,” then “all screw-ups is national” these days. In the Internet Age, there’s no such thing as a local story anymore. Everything is amplified, everything is everywhere.

For politicians, for celebrities, we get that. That’s always been true. But what about mostly innocent civilians who make particularly bad, oft-drunken, choices? They’re plastered all over the Internet — we are living in an era where people actually will carry around Scarlet Letters forever. It’s called Google.

You almost have to feel for high-school and college kids. It used to be you were allowed to mess up. You were allowed to say the wrong thing, make the wrong call, be the idiot you’re pretty much supposed to be at 15, at 19, at 21 even. Everyone’s expected to play the game now. Every little screw-up is magnified, every bad decision begets national comment. For chrissakes, it’s gotten so bad that even people who would defend you won’t do so because then they would be in the crosshairs for such a defense.

So two USC kids got caught fornicating on the roof of a building this weekend. So what? NSFW, kinda:

You can see even more pictures of this harmless act between clearly consenting adults here.

Apparently there were “hundreds of people” in the quad below for a “philanthropy event,” though don’t let that fool you. A “philanthropy event” for fraternities and sororities is just another excuse to get drunk on a Saturday morning. What this looks like is a situation in which two likely inebriated college kids needed a place to go and chose the roof. It’s not the first time that will happen, it’s not the last. It’s college.

There’s nothing wrong with USC’s Interfraternity Council and Panhellenic Council discussing punishment for the pair mating on the roof of Waite Phillips Hall. That’s what IFCs and PHCs do. But check out this e-mailed quote from the Kappa Sigma president as he confirmed the bro involved was a member.

“While the actions that were taken did involve a member of our chapter we, in no way, support this kind of behavior, nor do we promote any other such actions,” [Zach] Timm wrote in an email. “The member in question has been suspended from Kappa Sigma for conduct unbecoming of a Kappa Sigma and a gentleman until a more detailed investigation can be conducted.”

Don’t support this kind of behavior? Suspended? What age are we living in when a frat guy having sex is conduct unbecoming frat guys? Timm’s statement couldn’t possibly be related to the fact that the very same Kappa Sigma fraternity at the very same college produced a Tucker Max-esque misogyny-fueled email referring to men as a “Cocksman” and women as “targets?” A little damage control, surely.

That Cocksman email is ridiculous, yes. But it’s likely nothing more than either a guy who doesn’t get laid as much as his friends trying to live vicariously through them or a closet homosexual who needs material for his frat bro-filled fantasies. Taking it too seriously is a total waste of energy.

But back to the evil fornicators. It’s college. It’s sex on a roof. There’s no reason for USC officials to be “appalled by the actions” of these two. There’s no reason for him to be suspended from his fraternity. There’s no reason for that fraternity president to sell him out. There’s no reason for any of it. It’s college. It’s sex on a roof. It’s as simple as that. Move along, folks. Disciplinary action for fucking?! C’mon.

When you’re suspended from a fraternity for copulating on a campus rooftop, isn’t there something wrong with the natural order of things?

It’s clear why these photos went viral. It’s entirely unclear why some people are freaking out about this like they were found with a weapons cache. The “all screw-ups is national” genie will never go back in the bottle, but it’s high time we remember that young people still like to get drunk and screw.

(photos via Gawker and Clarafications)

UPDATE: The student who took the shots says he only took the shots to prove to friends that it happened: “He said he initially posted the candid snaps on a private Photobucket account that required a password to access so he could share it with college friends. But he claimed another student copied the pics and sent them around other freely accessible websites. ‘There was a girl on our floor and apparently there was a girl who had been on higher floors and she told her about it. She came down and knocked on all the doors and we all ran across the hall. There were probably about 10 or 15 of us and we were pretty shocked and then we thought it was pretty funny,’ he said. ‘Then someone said there were people missing from our floor and we thought we had better document it as it was a pretty unbelievable thing. We wanted proof so people would actually believe it happened when we told them.”

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