While doing some research, because I’m a gigantic dork, I’m surprised by the wealth of misinformation online about human penis size. Many straight men spend their lives only having seen maybe their dad’s penis, a few penises in porn and their own. Most people, in general, don’t go around measuring penises or reading about the human body. Men do not know what they are packing, and women do not know what to expect. None of us really have realistic expectations — myself included.
I’ve noticed an upswing in pop culture references to the brand of large-sized condoms sold by Trojan called “Magnum.” I find this particularly interesting because I learned in sexual education class that most men definitely do not need any condom larger than the standard size. No one likes a “saggy Magnum.” You remember those videos of guys pulling regular condoms over large objects, maybe even their own head? Well, the one thing I never noticed in any of those demonstrations is the condom also being subjected to rapid and repeated friction while stretched. After a series of scares in college with broken condoms, I reluctantly decided to give Magnums a try and haven’t looked back since. [ed. note: #humblebrag!]
Determining condom size is mostly a question of penis girth. Rather than learn what size condom you need through trial and error like I did, try the “toilet paper roll test” instead. As glorious as it sounds, the “toilet paper roll test” requires the male in question to insert his erect penis into any available traditional cardboard toilet paper roll. If your unit fits without touching the sides of the roll at all, you need a slim condom. A perfect fit dictates a normal-sized condom. An uncomfortable fit, or if you can’t fit your penis into the roll at all, you should try a larger size.
You may have noticed that in all of this discussion of penis size, I haven’t mentioned penis length at all. Condom sizing is mostly based on penis girth, with only some variation in length. And, while most everyday conversations about penis size revolve around length, sexual pleasure for women through intercourse with a man is mostly correlated with girth as well.
This is because most of the nerve endings in a woman’s vagina are near its opening. The legendary G-Spot area of the vagina is located only 1-3 inches inside. And, an unaroused vagina is only 2.5 – 3.5 inches long. A really long penis will hit a woman’s cervix in the back of the vagina and hurt her. Penis length is mostly for show. So, why is the general public so obsessed with the length of a man’s penis to the point where men will risk mutilation, spending money on penis enlargement surgery?
About two years ago I watched Lawrence Barraclough’s hilarious and informative second documentary on penis size, My Penis and Everyone Else’s. In a quest to get men to talk about penis size and come to terms with the size of his own penis, Lawrence uncovered some very eye opening information.
Take some time and check out the documentary here:
Aside from the fact that far too many men are insecure about the size of their penis, Lawrence also found that women have totally unrealistic penis size expectations. As exhibited in the chart below, most women would describe a penis as “ideal” or “perfect” if it is 7.25 – 8.25 inches in length, and 6.25 – 6.5 inches in girth. However, the average penis is 5.5 – 6.3 inches long and 4.7 – 5.1 inches in girth. Most women’s “ideal” penis is longer and wider than 98 percent of all men.
Fellas, are you ready to whip out your manhood and give it a measure yet? Not so fast. First, you should watch this quick lesson on the official, scientific method of measuring a penis via an instructional video by Michael Alvear, HBO’s Sex Inspector:
Larry Harris, Jr. is Black Bobby — an MC, libertarian political activist, social entrepreneur and the second most interesting man in the world. He lives in Miami but is originally from Washington, DC. Stunt Hard, my friends: blackbobby.com. Also, read his full HV archive HERE.
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