Another day, another teacher getting arrested for getting frisky with students. But fret not, desensitized Interwebber! Since everything’s bigger in the great state of Texas, the ante has been upped significantly for this one. Scarlet letter: You’re doing it right.

A teacher has been jailed after being accused of having sex with five of her teenage students during an orgy at her home.

Brittni Colleps, a married mother of three, invited the boys to her Texas home for the sex romp and the encounter was filmed on their cell phones. The 27-year-old’s husband was away overseas duty serving with the US military. Colleps, an English teacher and girl’s basketball coach, faces up to ten years in jail after being charged with five felony counts of inappropriate relationships between a student and a teacher.

Although all five of the teens involved with Colleps were 18 years of age or older, Texas law prohibits sex between a teacher and a student, regardless of the student’s age.

-Daily Mail

First of all, Daily Mail, I know you’re British and all (shouldn’t it be called ‘Daily Post’?) but let’s call a spade a spade. Where I come from, 5 guys and 1 lady does not an orgy make. That, good chaps, is a straight up gangbang any way you, um, bang it. Moving on…

So the first question everybody asks is “WTF is this woman thinking?” Let me explain. This woman is probably thinking that since all the kids are 18 or older, there’s no legal issue. The only backlash she ever expected to deal with is being instantly known around school as the whore teacher who got slammed by five students while they all obviously recorded it on their cell phones! That’s all! She expects to get fired and run out of town, but not arrested!

Unfortunately for her, in Texas, the teacher-student relationship makes this illegal, as teachers are presumed to be “preying” on “innocent” high schoolers by leveraging their position of power. Well let me tell you lawmakers a little something about Brittni Colleps’ position of power. It doesn’t come from her role as an educator. It comes from a little something called “being born a woman.” It doesn’t matter if Mrs. Colleps is your 5th period English teacher or the goddamn lunchlady, the second that an 18-year-old male starts receiving sexts from the demanding that he “see her after class” is the second that he starts treating his body like it’s an amusement park so that he can be over there in 2 shakes and without a loaded gun. To women, sex is like the garbage man. They can take for granted that any time they put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit’s going to come pick it up.

And just when you thought the army wife angle couldn’t get any more despicable, the poor guy actually rushed back to Texas to raise the freaking $125,000 to get her out of lockup! GOOD LORD is this guy a sucker. Really, bro? Sure you don’t want to just let her rot in prison, take your kids and leave? Oh. You say you want the satisfaction of beating her to death yourself. I see. Well, that seems perfectly reasonable. Plus, if it’s anything like those movies, lady jail ain’t no thang for the likes of Brittni Colleps.

In all seriousness, 10 years in jail does seem like an awfully steep penalty for the “crime” of merely being a filthy, filthy whore, especially since all the parties involved were consenting adults. And don’t get me wrong, the world needs filthy whores too. But as a matter between husband and wife, this bitch deserves to be waterboarded and branded with a scarlet letter. 

Now, I’m not saying that abusing a woman is OK, but what I AM saying is that in this situation, it is totally OK. It’s certainly more reasonable than being arrested by the state.

[Daily Mail] via [NYC Barstool]

Posted May 18, 2011 3:01pm