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“Untitled” By Anonymous Set For November Release

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By HVculture on July 28, 2011

This November, book buyers (is there such a thing?) will be treated a 320-page, non-fiction, hardcover book with photos that will retail at $26.99. The publisher, Little, Brown & Company hasn’t given many details about the book, except that in an email to book stores the publishing company said it will tell “the inside story of life with one of the most controversial figures of our time.”

The New York Times notes: “In its e-mail the publisher promised a ‘massive media rollout’ with a confirmed ’60 Minutes’ appearance. Bookstores were instructed to comply with a highly orchestrated release on Nov. 14, with no sales permitted until then, an embargo arrangement typically reserved for splashy debuts of political memoirs or Bob Woodward books.”

You’ve got to applaud the, as Michele Bachmann would say, choot-spa, of a publishing company to try and pull a stunt like this in an age when most people are indifferent to books. But, in its defense, people aren’t immune to a splashy publishing event.

Speculation has risen that the controversial figure is none other than Bernard L. Madoff. The reasoning? The book is supposedly co-authored by Catherine Hooper and Laurie Sandell. Hooper is the fiancée of Andrew Madoff; Sandell is a freelance magazine writer and graphic novelist in Brooklyn. That suggests that the book itself is written by Sandell and the subject matter might be Hooper’s life with the Madoffs.

Of course, nobody will admit to anything, playing their cards close to the vest, so it’s anyone’s guess until the media blitz begins this fall.

Book stores across the country have begun to hold store pools for the employee that guesses the correct controversial figure.

“There’s nothing to guess with,” said Mark LaFramboise, a buyer for Politics and Prose, an independent store in Washington, The New York Times reports. “I can’t even get mad at it, I just think it’s so funny.”

So is it really about Madoff? How revealingly delicious could a life as Bernie’s future daughter-in-law possibly be? One morning Bernie picked up some nosh at H&H Bagels, and get this, he got whitefish and pickled herring. I HATE WHITEFISH AND PICKLED HERRING, YOU GUYS!

Here’s a list of 10 people we’d rather see exposed in “Untitled” by Anonymous:

1. Oprah Winfrey, by Gayle King
2. Former Congressman Anthony Weiner, by Twitter users
3. Rizzoli, by Isles
4. Amy Winehouse, by Maid That Cleans Her Nightstand
5. Marcus Bachmann, by M4M Massage Therapists on Craigslist
6. Keith Richards, by The Unsuccessful-But-Trying Grim Reaper
7. Alex Trebek, by The Answers Questions in Front of Him
8. Jenna Jameson, by Some Furious Masturbator
9. Ted Haggard, by Meth Demons
10. Ryan Stewart, CPA, by Seamus Gallivan

Okay, so maybe that last one wouldn’t be so juicy. Probably better than lunching with Madoff, though.

Who’d you like to see exposed in an untitled anonymous work of non-fiction? Weigh in below.

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