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Happy New Year…Now Stick It Up Your Ass

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By Naheed on December 31, 2010


Even though our readership is comprised of suave talkers, smooth lovers and sex machines, we thought you might need some hot-lovin’ advice from the best. Welcome to Naheedonism.

Dear Naheedonism–

If a dude’s girlfriend talks him into putting something up his butt, and after a while he starts to like it, is that normal?

Dear Uranus,

This is totally normal. I know many couples who like to experiment with various anal stimulants. Some men (and women) really like their assholes fingered, prodded, rammed, or tickled, while others can’t stand anything near their black hole.

I had one past lover who particularly liked me to put a sparkly dildo up his ass, although he swore it had nothing to do with his glam rock obsession. He says it was just about stimulating the prostate…even though occasionally, we’d end up listening to Personality Crisis by the New York Dolls while performing the ritual and he would insist I call him Ziggy and he would call me DJ while smearing the eyeliner drawn star on his cheekbone…as if to imitate tears falling.

This past Thanksgiving, I really got into the holiday spirit and put a turkey baster up my lover’s ass with a bit of warm water. It was really exciting until we realized (much too late) what we basically had given him was an enema. Sometimes we get too carried away. Let’s just say holiday clean up wasn’t only about washing a bunch of dirty dishes.

Happy New Year!
Naheed

Got a sex or relationship question for our resident advice columnist? E-mail her at naheed@hypervocal4.wpengine.com. You’ll be glad you did. Or maybe you won’t.

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